I (30f) recently caught my husband (32m) texting another woman going back a few months. Sexting, nudes, paying for videos and inviting her over to our house, which she did not follow through with. This devastated me, and was enough for me to leave, but it only busted open a can of worms. My daughter and I have been staying at a family members house since this discovery.
I then found full blown evidence that he had hired an escort and they met at our house. He of course firmly denied this despite me showing him the evidence. After days of him denying it and trying to shift focus and attempt to accuse me of ridiculous random things, he finally confessed to it happening. He swore it was his first and only time and that it was nothing and he felt horrible.
Then the trickle truth began. He confessed to using one of my family members credit cards, which had been stored on Amazon from a while back, for buying stuff off amazon for months. I looked at the orders and it’s been months and well over $1,000 of stuff he has been putting on their card. Personal items, work items, items for our daughter, etc. So he called the family member and confessed.
Then he confessed to me that he has been using meth for a little more than a year. Almost seems as if he is attributing his behaviors to when he started using. Once he confessed this, I just knew there was so much more and that everything has been a lie.
He has been begging me to go to marriage counseling, begging me to forgive him, begging me to give him a chance. He calls me crying, apologizing for what he’s done, tells me he is ready to change and fix himself and how sorry he is. He claims he is ready to be fully transparent and that telling the truth has lifted a weight from him, etc.
Occasionally, he starts to act out, and gets mad and will start accusing me of ridiculous things that he knows aren’t true. He snaps out of it eventually, but it happens every once in a while.
After telling him over and over that I know there is more and that nothing could ever even be resolved if he wasn’t going to come forward with the entire truth, no matter how awful - he confessed to 4 more escorts going back a little over a year and again attributing to around when he started using meth. He claims they took place when we were going through rough patches, so when my daughter and I spent some time at a family members house.
It all just is so hard to come to terms with. It hurts so much, he is begging for me to try and that he is ready to be honest about everything. But how could I believe him? He lied and lied again taking weeks to own up to only these things. I can’t even begin to imagine what else there is, but I can’t even trust that he will ever tell me the full truth. He said he will tell me everything if we go to counseling…so I agreed to try counseling.
I am seeing my own therapist. I am staying with a family member with our daughter just trying to get through the days, maybe just through Christmas. I know this is never ever going to work, and that divorce is the only option, but everything is just so hard and overwhelming.
It is like he had this entire second life…I had no idea. Or I was in denial and was too scared to seek the truth. I feel so dumb for never seeing it. I feel so dumb for brushing things off. I feel so dumb for feeling crazy when I questioned his suspicious behaviors.
I have reached out to a friend who is a lawyer about getting divorce process started. I am not rushing, as I am still processing everything, and I did commit to marriage counseling. But I just don’t know how I could ever get over this and be okay. I am struggling so much, every day is so hard. I am struggling to get anything done for work, I am so scared of losing my job. I am trying so hard to control my emotions in front of our daughter, but it is so hard. I have panic attacks, can barely get out of bed. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist today as well, so I am trying my best to get better. But it is so hard.
How do I get through the days? When does it get better? Do I tell my work so I can get time off? Do I even go to marriage counseling? Do I hear him out? Do I worry about his meth use and getting him help? Is it even worth finding out more of the truth? Why do I want to know all of the truth? Why do I want to know what else? I am so lost and hurt…

here's the promised bonus release! I forgot to tell you, my beloved readers, this in the last post, so I once again ask you for your support! insert Bernie meme. An upvote will be much appreciated.
[PREVIOUS] [FIRST]
____________________________________________
Major Nowko'tar, Third Mil-Int Company
It was only early afternoon once I finished reading the after-action report of Squad 5 in the Northern subsector when Squad 3 already returned for Debrief. Their work was going on a lot faster. I might have to employ some marines to help out Rudolf’s subsector, the state of their bureaucracy prior to the occupation was vast and woefully dated compared to the systems everywhere else on this continent, except maybe for the Balkan peninsula.
I ordered them in and pulled up their helmet footage and a virtual bird’s eye view with real-time locations and line of sight of every marine taking part in the operation. We quickly discussed the tactical side of things. Apart from a few minor issues when opening doors into unknown rooms their actions were right out of the textbook.
“I’d like to highlight PFC Léo’s and Corporal Sjari’s handling of civilians in obvious distress. Great work you two. Calming down the subject with small talk and jokes was good intuition, Léo. I personally liked how you distracted them with kind words about their kids being beautiful. Building an emotional bond is never a bad idea.” I watched as Léo smiled self-satisfied at my commendation for him.
“The use of music by you, Corporal, was a trick from our Interior classes I’d guess. Choosing The Three Seashells as a tune was a good call. Under pressure it helps to relax the subject to focus on external stimuli-” I noticed how Rudolf and his podmates, as well as Léo, pressed their lips together and their faces lit up.
“-especially those that seem familiar but still foreign. It is important that we don’t leave a bad mark on…” Both humans broke out in laughter.
“We are sorry Major… Permission to step outside for a moment?” Rudolf said heavily wheezing.
“Permission denied! What is so funny about this?” I yelled at them, annoyed at being interrupted.
“Just some human pop culture thing, not important,” Léo reported, still trying to compose himself.
I pulled out my personal omnipad and searched in the archive about our beloved folk band. Apparently there existed an inside joke about three seashells on Terra so I opened the short video.
PFC Shar’sara, Mil-Int Company 3-2-3 Pod 23
Luckily the movie snippet our CO watched seemed amusing enough for her mouth to twitch in amusement. It was surely a very interesting movie to watch last week.
"I'll leave my bloody carbine in the APC next time. That useless piece of shit is always in the way." Rudolf exclaimed.
"Tell me about it! Technically that is allowed in the regulations. We still carry sidearms anyway, Sir," Sjari supported him with a grin.
If those two were good at something it was complaining. They did have a point though, scanning files and working on those human workstations with a rifle slung over did take a toll on our backs.
"Well, that settles it. We only take two rifles with us next time. Lierra keeps hers and Sara passes you hers once she has to work on the computers and files. Would be useless anyway," Rudolf concluded and I sighed in relief.
We all carried backpacks with heavy equipment. Two sets of scanners for Sjari and Rudolf, one set with adapters, a hacking pad and hard drives for me and the satellite antenna array carried by Lierra. That made it impossible to draw our rifles quickly and more likely to get them stuck somewhere in the equipment. Rudolf's reprimand for fetching us food forced us to stuff our pockets full of snacks.
The baggy uniforms the humans had demanded really helped with storage in that regard, but it still added to the weight. I then remembered to teach Rudolf how to use the fabricators, as much as we all loved helping him he needed to know that for his own sake.
Sgt. Rudolf, Mil-Int Company 3-2-3 Pod 23 - two weeks later
It had started to become routine. We finished all major cities in range of our APCs. The past few days we flew with a shuttle to meet our escort in their respective outposts. Today was another routine job. We boarded our transport shuttle for the short flight south-east.
“How long do you think we have to keep doing these fetch and carry missions?” Lierra said to no one in particular in our group.
“I heard Lieutenant Aasi’ani is instructing 4th platoon to take over for us, but that might take some time,” Sjari answered.
“Oh great. Our engineers with the tact of a brick will have to work with humans. No offence, Sarge,” Sara chimed in.
“Some taken. Nonetheless, we might have to thank them with some beverages for that. I’m not feeling particularly good about earning resentment from the Marines tasked with preparing our stuff,” I grunted as the shuttle took off. “Take this piece of shit as an example. It is a glorified flying coffin. Additionally, the black paint job with purple highlights simply paints a target on our backs.”
“You do realise that I can hear you? If you want me to avoid the next turbulence you apologise to him,” our pilot yelled into the intercom.
“Oh please forgive my insolence holy machine spirit, once we return I shall repent for my sins and treat you to some incense,” I pleaded sarcastically.
“You Mil-Int specialists are all weird. The last group I ferried from Warsaw was the same,” came the irritated response.
I gestured to my mates to switch channels.
“Alright, Lieutenant Ordanni gave me only sparse information about the unit stationed at the outpost. It is a detachment from the 17th Kralltoran Battalion, 4th Company,” I read out loud. “That’s everything. No officers or NCOs listed here.”
“Oh, those gals? Nice bunch, but what are they doing here? They are jungle fighters and were headed for Sector 5,” Lierra wondered.
“How do you know about them? Are they kind of a big deal?” I replied.
“Their ship picked us up and brought us into orbit. They landed and we were picked up by a transport and delivered to the ship you were on.” Sara answered this time. “But why they are now here makes no sense to me either. How about you Damira, you got to know them a little better if I remember correctly?”
“I have no clue either. We just played some games during transit and the regular shit talk. I never met any of their officers,” Damira answered.
Luman’dira’s comms activated. “Maybe we just ask them? Discreetly. If it is something political we might have to keep our heads low.”
Given the shitshow Cedua obviously had to endure inside the Interior, I was more than happy to agree. My dealings with the few nobles I had met so far were always accompanied by blatant arrogance and disregard for anyone beneath their status. So basically spoiled rich kids with political influence. If you discounted the noble heritage they claimed it was nothing new really.
We switched back channels and joked around a little with our pilot, who was more than happy to serve her time in our sector as it was apparently quieter than the others. The few reports I had read inside Nowko’tar’s office still painted a bad picture.
The Balkans were doing their thing like they did every 50 years and couldn’t decide if they wanted to shoot the alien occupants or their neighbours first. France had semi-violent protests that luckily didn’t become a huge problem thanks to Léo’s recommendations to let them tire themselves out. Eastern and Northern Europe basically ignored their occupiers and our most pressing matters there were high crime rates and the occasional madlad, especially in the east.
Italy and Spain took it relatively easy, their resistance amounted mainly to spreading leaflets, the Sicilian mafia however, didn’t take too kindly to a force that was not yet to bribe. A job that would fall to my unit all too soon.
And lastly, there was Switzerland among the problem children. Currently a no-fly zone and rampant partisan problem. Their concept of a militia army, combined with asymmetrical warfare in the mountains made it hard to counter. The vast bunker complexes were unexplored and all records were destroyed. The actual casualties produced were mostly created by IEDs and Stinger ambushes. Either we’d win down there through hearts and minds or we’d have to wait until they ran out of weapons and ammunition. Both would be costly and take a long time, the latter might take decades and might only work because ammunition was perishable.
“Landing permission received, prepare yourselves my lovely cargo,” the pilot informed us with a hint of humour in her voice.
We touched down and I imagined the grace our craft displayed akin to a toolbox being dropped in some backwater repair shop, at least that’s how my spine experienced it. I saluted our welcoming committee, a Shil’vati and some sort of catlike woman, as I walked over to them, my unit in tow. “Sergeant Rudolf, I hope you were informed of our arrival.”
“Don’t salute me, Sergeant! -” The Chief Warrant Officer bellowed out, immediately composing herself again. “I’m sorry for my outbreak, we got rotated out of our previous region. Old habit. But still, don’t salute.” Her voice became more relaxed. “I’m honorary CWO Suchari and this is Sergeant Malicaa, the commander of your escort service,” she nearly spat the last part, but I decided to ignore it.
I nodded in acknowledgement. “This is Corporal Sjari-” I pointed with my thumb to the marine next to me. “and the rest of my unit.” I nodded with my head slightly behind me. “Can we go inside and go over the mission parameters?”
She gave a curt nod and jogged in the direction of a big tent, surrounded by the Imperial equivalent of HESCO. We followed them shortly behind, not amused by the unnecessary workout carrying boxes full of additional equipment for our tour through the countryside.
“What kind of name should Rudolf even be? You don’t look SF so I guess you’re not running code,” her nonchalant question reminded me that we still wore our helmets.
“Your assumption is correct, that might be because it is a local one, ma’am.” I removed my helmet, Suchari’s eyes went wide and the cat’s fur was standing up. As the sergeant was reaching for her sidearm my eyes turned wide in turn. I dropped my helmet and raised my hands. “Wow, hold on! This isn’t a good idea.” I heard my squad dropping the boxes and pulling out their weapons.
“Sergeant Malicaa! Get a hold of yourself!” The WCO bellowed and grabbed at Malicaa’s gun.
“I’m sorry Suchari,” the Sergeant muttered ashamed, her fur smoothed again as she relaxed.
My squadmates relaxed their weapons as well. Off to a great start, we got a shellshocked unit as our escort and backup. The rest of my unit took off their helmets one at a time, warily eyeing our hosts.
“I would appreciate it if we kept this professional,” I tried to de-escalate. “What is the status of your marines, any problems known?”
“You have no idea what happened so-” Malicaa began but stopped, realising that there was no accusation made.
“They are fine, more or less. We arrived here last week and some still need counselling, but this backwater post doesn’t get any attention from our esteemed higher-ups,” Suchari answered, glancing at Malicaa.
I pulled out my data slate and sent an immediate request for psychological personnel to be sent to this unit. If a marine killed a civvie in some trauma episode, our workload might rise immeasurably. A moment later it already pinged with Nowko’tar’s reply.
“It will now. My CO will inform you about their ETA. Now I think we should get to the main point of why are we even here,” I exclaimed in the hope to skip this rather unpleasant surprise that nearly made me piss my pants.
____________________________________________
[NEXT]

La Plata es una hermosa ciudad conocida por sus hermosas playas, su vibrante vida nocturna, sus excelentes restaurantes y su amplia gama de Acompañantes La Plata. Las escorts en La Plata son unas de las más atractivas y sofisticadas del país.

Hello everyone,
Quick Background. My mom has a TRO served against my dad due to domestic violence. My dad is currently living at my grandma’s place and my grandma recently sent a message to my mom asking if my dad could come by to pick up more clothes (he had time to get some the day the order was served). My mom sent a text back saying she would leave it out but I immediately informed her she should not be unofficially inviting him over to get stuff without a police escort during a served TRO. My question is could my grandma use this text with my dad in court against my mom at the FRO hearing as evidence he is not a threat to her? Her reasoning being if he had more of his stuff he would not come by to harass here more. We honestly have pictures, videos, and texts of domestic abuse so I think it’s still ok, but I just want to reassure her it won’t crash her case. Thank you :)
TL;DR. Mom accidentally invited dad over to house during a served TRO against him to get clothes left near the street. Could that text/invite screw her case over despite having evidence of abuse?

17-minute read.

U.S. government commission on Religious Freedom recommends State Department place Azerbaijan on a watch list because of violations of religious freedoms

USCIRF recommended yet again that the U.S. Department of State include Azerbaijan on its Special Watch List (SWL) in light of the government’s severe violations of religious freedom.
Although Azerbaijan has in recent years ceased some problematic practices regarding state interference in its people’s practice of their religion or beliefs, the government has shown little interest in reforming laws and policies that violate Azerbaijan’s international human rights commitments. Within the last three years, the government has twice amended its religion law to introduce new restrictions on a variety of religious activities.

... about Nagorno-Karabakh

Azerbaijan allegedly continued to commit war crimes and other abuses in the context of its conflict with Armenia over the territory of Nagorno-Karabakh, an area internationally recognized as part of Azerbaijan. Beginning in December 2022, ethnic Armenians living in the region faced severe food, fuel, and medicine shortages due to a partial blockade of the Lachin corridor—a key transport route connecting Nagorno-Karabakh to Armenia—that the Azerbaijani government converted into a complete blockade in June 2023. The critical humanitarian crisis led numerous organizations and other voices to warn that the situation under these conditions risked the prospect of ethnic cleansing. In September, Azerbaijan launched a military offensive to forcibly retake the region, leading to the mass exodus of more than 100,000 ethnic Armenians.

...

the chairman of the SCWRA Mubariz Gurbanli explicitly called for Armenian priests to abandon the Dadivank Monastery in the Kalbajar region as he falsely claimed that they had no connection to the site.

... conclusion

The Azerbaijani government has unfortunately erased the little progress it had made for religious freedom by passing increasingly restrictive amendments to its religion law, continuing to require and deny official registration to several religious groups, harassing and arresting Shi’a Muslim religious activists, and refusing to permit conscientious objection. The United States should pressure Azerbaijan to address its severe violations of religious freedom and place the country on the State Department’s Special Watch List until the Azerbaijani government amends its 2009 law “On Freedom of Religious Beliefs” in line with international human rights standards and ceases other policies and practices that routinely infringe upon its citizens’ freedom of religion or belief.

source, source, source,

Israeli government says Armenia is the safest country for Jews in the entire region

Armenia - no travel threat
Azerbaijan, Georgia - potential threat
Turkey, Iran - high threat
source,

Armenian parliament leader Alen Simonyan accuses Azerbaijani government of being a puppet of and having agreements with Russia and Turkey

REPORTER: Azerbaijan has been rejecting the Western negotiation platforms lately. Do you have plans to meet in Russia?
ALEN SIMONYAN: Azerbaijan is avoiding Western platforms because its ethnic cleansing in Nagorno-Karabakh has placed them in a difficult position. Today the world sees the difference between the positions of Armenia and Azerbaijan.
REPORTER: Why does Azerbaijan prefer the Russian platform? Is Russia not aware of the ethnic cleansing in Nagorno-Karabakh?
ALEN SIMONYAN: It's obvious that Russia's response to the ethnic cleansing looks more like an attempt to maintain control of the situation. They don't understand that they lost their grip a long time ago. Nagorno-Karabakh was attacked from 15 separate directions on September 19. Russia's response was to urge Armenia to exercise restraint. Russia's goal was to make it seem as if Armenia was part of the September 19 conflict. This was a calculated move to attempt to drag Armenia into a war, to give Azerbaijan the carte blanche to attack Armenia. Russia has failed its duties in the South Caucasus and as the guarantor of the November 9 agreement. Were the Russian peacekeepers deployed in Nagorno-Karabakh so they could escort ethnic Armenians out of their homes?
REPORTER: Did the Armenian government not know that Russian peacekeepers would display inaction when you signed the agreement on November 9?
ALEN SIMONYAN: Of course not. We did not suspect this outcome. We did not suspect that Russia would allow Azerbaijani soldiers to literally push the peacekeepers out.
REPORTER: Azerbaijan is concerned about revanchism by Armenia.
ALEN SIMONYAN: Azerbaijan should take steps to prevent a need for revanchism. They should do everything possible to develop a peace agenda jointly with Armenia. You can't invade Armenian territories, kill Armenian soldiers, then talk about revanchism.
REPORTER: Aliyev claims Armenia ignored Azerbaijan's peace proposal for 7 months and that Pashinyan is refusing to hold meetings in Moscow.
ALEN SIMONYAN: Ignored for 7 months? That's a fairy tale. Azerbaijan commits ethnic cleansing and attacks Armenia's borders while simultaneously complaining that Armenia refuses to hold talks while Azerbaijan commits those crimes. That's absurd.
REPORTER: Where does Azerbaijan find the strength to confront the U.S.?
ALEN SIMONYAN: Azerbaijan has agreements with Russia and Turkey. It's funny that Aliyev accused Armenia of being a puppet of others.
source, source,

parliament leader Alen Simonyan accuses Russia of breaking promises and appeasing Azerbaijan

REPORTER: Russia took our cash and failed to deliver weapons. Our defense ministry says it's still possible to resolve this dispute amicably without involving courts. Is it possible?
ALEN SIMONYAN: It's possible. The Russian side has a chance to prove that it remains committed to its promises and the agreements. But that wouldn't prevent [Armenia from looking for other defense partners as well]. It is a fact that Russia has failed to deliver its contractual obligations.
REPORTER: Why are you boycotting the Russian-led CSTO meetings?
ALEN SIMONYAN: I see no point in participating because of unresolved issues and their failure to deliver the promises. Russia's insolence is aimed only at Armenia, while it was Azerbaijan who betrayed them on numerous occasions since 9 November 2020. Azerbaijan murdered Russian peacekeepers, broke the agreements, and acted with impunity without restraints, all without a response from Russia. Russia instead chose to make a big scene about the humanitarian aid that Armenia sent to Ukraine. Azerbaijan has sent similar aid on numerous occasions and received Zelensky's gratitude; Russia's so-called unbiased foreign ministry has never condemned that. Azerbaijan violated internal agreements and the November 9 agreement, the agreement to return the captives, and so on. Sadly, Russia only criticizes Armenia. Russia is trying to save its face, perhaps. Let's end this conversation before I get carried away with anger.
source,

the U.S. expects to host Armenia and Azerbaijan in Washington

Aliyev recently threw a tantrum about deputy foreign minister O'Brien's comments critical of his regime. Aliyev cast doubt on Washington's future participation in the peace process but said that things could change if the U.S. decides to maintain good relations with Baku. O'Brien visited Baku to discuss the AM-AZ peace process yesterday and said the meeting was productive.
source,

U.S. co-chair of OSCE Minsk Group visited Armenia

Bono met FM Mirzoyan and Deputy PM Grigoryan to discuss topics relating to AM-AZ peace.
source, source,

Azerbaijan agrees to release 32 Armenian captives in exchange for two Azeris held in Armenian prison

A joint statement was made by the governments of Armenia and Azerbaijan about the exchange.
STATEMENT: Armenia and Azerbaijan share the view that there is a historical chance to achieve a long-awaited peace in the region. Two countries reconfirm their intention to normalize relations and to reach the peace treaty on the basis of respect for the principles of sovereignty and territorial integrity.
Following the talks between Pashinyan and Aliyev, an agreement has been reached on taking tangible steps towards building confidence between two countries.
Driven by the values of humanism and as a gesture of goodwill, Azerbaijan releases 32 Armenian military servicemen.
In its turn, driven by the values of humanism and as a gesture of goodwill, Armenia releases 2 Azerbaijani military servicemen.
As a sign of good gesture, Armenia supports the bid by Azerbaijan to host the 29th Session of the Conference of Parties (COP29) to the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change, by withdrawing its own candidacy. Armenia and Azerbaijan do hope that the other countries within the Eastern European Group will also support Azerbaijan’s bid to host. As a sign of good gesture, Azerbaijan supports the Armenian candidature for Eastern European Group COP Bureau membership.
Armenia and Azerbaijan will continue their discussions regarding the implementation of more confidence building measures, effective in the near future and call on the international community to support their efforts that will contribute to building mutual trust between two countries and will positively impact the entire South Caucasus region.
EU's MICHEL: Delighted to welcome a major breakthrough in AM-AZ relations as they issue a joint statement. Welcome in particular release of detainees and unprecedented opening in political dialogue. I now encourage the leaders to finalize the peace deal ASAP. //
26 of the 32 POWs returning home were captured in Nagorno-Karabakh's Hadrut Region in December 2020 (presumably the volunteers from Gyumri). The other 6 were captured at a later date.
source, [source,](CharlesMichel/status/1732821162797760513) source, source,

Azerbaijan will hold snap elections in 2024, a year before the end of Aliyev's term

Aliyev has been ruling the state for 20 years. The next elections will be held on 7 February 2024. Under the Azerbaijani constitution, a president can serve for 7 years. Aliyev has changed the constitution to remove the term limits. He is able to get "elected" as many times as he wishes.
The previous elections of 2018 were also held ahead of schedule. At the time, the opposition complained that Aliyev didn't give the opposition enough time to prepare. International observers called the elections unfair and fraudulent.
The opposition has described Alieyv's latest decision as a "sudden military operation against his own population."
When asked why they are holding snap elections now, a ruling party MP said that certain processes are rapidly developing in the region and that it's necessary to control such processes.
Opposition leader Ali Karimli accused Aliyev of attempting to "rig" his own reelection. He ties it to Aliyev's decision to pivot Azerbaijan away from the West, towards Russia.

Now it becomes clear why illegal arrests have occupied the country’s agenda in recent months [and] why the country’s relations with international organisations such as the USA, EU, and OSCE have been artificially strained in recent months
Ilham Aliyev is trying to extend his term of office through uncompetitive and fake elections while Putin's regime is still standing

Another opposition politician, Gasimli, believes the economic problems also play a role:

This year, economic growth was very low in the CIS countries. The economic gap and, as a result, social tension in [Azerbaijan] is growing. The government could not turn the Nagorno-Karabakh victory into development

source, source, source,

Russian elections will take place a month after elections in Azerbaijan

Putin plans to top-up his term on 17 March 2024.
source,

interview with Azerbaijani analyst-in-exile Arif Yunusov about the latest developments

REPORTER: What is happening?
YUNOSOV: Armenia and Azerbaijan were given a choice: Russian platform or Western platform. Armenia chose the West a while ago, while Azerbaijan kept rejecting it. The U.S. activated its efforts this year. They exerted heavy pressure to secure a peace agreement in May-June but the efforts failed because of Russia's counteractions; Azerbaijan blocked the peace process because of Russia. However, lately, the U.S. has made another attempt to pressure. We heard strong language from James O'Brien (U.S. State Department). He threatened that if Azerbaijan doesn't change its stance and doesn't step away from Russia... the goal was to sign the peace agreement this year but they ran out of time. I have received information through internal channels that before O'Brien's visit to Baku [yesterday], they held confidential talks with Azerbaijan and threatened with sanctions if no progress is achieved. The work has already begun in Washington to draft sanctions on Azerbaijan. O'Brien discussed three things in Baku: (1) The AM-AZ-US meeting in Washington on December 10-15, (2) The AM-AZ-EU meeting in Brussels on December 20, (3) The circumstances which allowed the military equipment owned by Nagorno-Karabakh Armenians to fall in the hands of Russia army in Ukraine [Azerbaijan and Russia confiscated Armenians weapons and sent them to Ukraine]. This equipment was handed over to the Russian peacekeepers. Lots of tanks and armored vehicles. Weapons worth around $1 billion. It turns out Russia has used the Azerbaijani territory to move this equipment to the Ukraine front. This is a sensitive topic because Azerbaijan has essentially aided Russia in evading sanctions.
REPORTER: What about the snap elections in Azerbaijan?
YUNOSOV: It was a spontaneous and very sudden decision, perhaps made because of the meeting with O'Brien. Otherwise, there is usually a public discussion and internal "leaks" about possible elections well ahead of official announcements. We didn't see that this time. No one knew anything about snap elections.
REPORTER: Why hold one?
YUNOSOV: We will soon find out whether it's a U.S. initiative or Aliyev's. You can tell a lot about the situation in Azerbaijan by following the state media. The day before O'Brien's visit, the state media was filled with dirty yellow journalism against Joe Biden. If that hostility disappears from the media now, that means there is a "deal" with the U.S.
The U.S. and EU are preparing a sanctions package, for now against Azerbaijani judges. Baku is being pressured. Most of the assets owned by the Aliyev family are in the West. Aliyev thinks it's better to hold the snap elections ASAP while his rating is still high. He will campaign as a hero who returned to Karabakh. No one knows what will happen in 2025 [original date of elections]. In 2025 he could be forced to campaign as a leader who is forced to make compromises.
REPORTER: What compromises could Aliyev make?
YUNOSOV: The recognition of Armenia's territorial integrity would mean all the rhetoric about the Zangezur Corridor is gone. No talk of invasion anymore. No more excuses about borders not being demarcated "therefore our soldiers can stand here". The "Armenia is a Western Azerbaijan" propaganda will be done. But most importantly, Russia would no longer be able to play the same role it does today. Today Azerbaijan is being used as a tool by Russia to pressure Armenia.
REPORTER: Is it possible Mehriban Aliyeva [wife, who also happens to be the VP] will be nominated for president, instead of him?
YUNOSOV: Years ago there were talks about Ilham Aliyev having serious health issues but that no longer appears to be the case. At this time I doubt it will be Mehriban, especially since she has a problem with language. [does she really speak Russian better than Azerbaijani?]
source,

big earthquake in the Caspian Sea shakes Azerbaijan and reaches all the way to Armenia

The 5.6M jolted an area 60 km within the Sea. No reports of damage or casualties. Aftershocks are expected. Azerbaijani Seismological Survey Center urged the population not to worry, amid panic in Baku. Schools and buildings were evacuated. People took to the streets.
The quake was felt in Armenia's northeastern province Tavush at a significantly weaker level.
source, [source,](emergencies/1717143) [source,](azerbaijan/society/3834093.html) source,

today marks the 35th anniversary of a major earthquake in Armenia's Spitak

It killed tens of thousands and made hundreds of thousands homeless.
source,

environmental Bern Convention committee urges Armenian government (party) to stop activities at Amulsar gold mine after a complaint by environmentalists (party)

Notable:

the mine had received financing from the Eurasian Development Bank with the Russian state as majoritarian owner and that in June, a meeting between the mining company and Deputy Prime Minister had discussed resumption of development of the mine, with no involvement of other stakeholders

The full report is below. The Standing Committee:

Took note of the reports of both parties and thanked the authorities of Armenia and the complainant CEE Bankwatch Network for their presentations. It recalled that the Bureau had decided to elevate this case to “possible file” at its last meeting in September due to the very concerning situation of the Amulsar gold mine and state of the Emerald Network in Armenia.
Took note of the information of the Armenian authorities that the legal processes had been correctly followed and thus there was no need for a new environmental and social impact study (ESIA) for the Amulsar gold mine as called for by the complainant. Also, noted that the process of establishing Jermuk National Park as a protected area was delayed due to prevailing state priorities and regional instability; and that the process of revising the Emerald network territory was ongoing and the secretariat would be notified, but that the preliminary findings suggested that the sufficiency of the sites would improve as target species and habitats would be prioritised
Noted the concerns of the complainant that the mine had received financing from the Eurasian Development Bank with the Russian state as majoritarian owner and that in June, a meeting between the mining company and Deputy Prime Minister had discussed resumption of development of the mine, with no involvement of other stakeholders and no new ESIA foreseen. Also, noted that the negative environmental impacts of the mine would likely have transboundary implications.
.Expressed its concern that the processes to drastically reduce the territory of the Emerald Network in Armenia including the protected area where the Amulsar mine is located were ongoing. It called for Armenia to consider very carefully this process, as such reductions in territory could be very detrimental for the sufficiency of the pan-European Network of Protected Areas. It recalled its Recommendations No. 208 (2019) and No. 157 (2011, revised 2019) regarding Emerald Network sites, and encouraged the authorities to remain in close contact with the Secretariat during this process and if need be to ask for technical assistance
Was also concerned with the allegation of the complainant that public involvement in these important processes appeared to be neglected by the Armenian government, that a new Strategy would seem to allow a procedure to bypass public participation, despite its obligation by the Aarhus Convention, and that there had been an unprecedented number of strategic litigations against public participation (SLAPPs) against independent experts, lawyers and journalists who opposed the project
Took note of the request of the complainant to mandate an on-the-spot appraisal (OSA) to the site. However, due to the ongoing processes and assurances of the Armenian government, decided to postpone a decision on this until 2024: the Bureau should meanwhile be kept strictly informed of any updates.
In the meantime, reiterated the calls of the Bureau for the Armenian authorities to halt the construction of the gold mine which could negatively affect the habitats and species protected under the Convention, whether pertaining to an Emerald Network site or not, also highlighting the recent evidence of the remerging presence of the Persian Leopard (Panthera pardus tulliana) which is critically endangered in the region, as well as other recent biodiversity findings. The Committee also invited the Armenian authorities to revise the existing ESIA for the gold mine, in light of the recent biodiversity findings, and expertise of the local scientific and civil community, and possible transboundary water impacts. Finally, they were asked to speed up the declaration process of Jermuk National Park.
Finally, welcomed the statement of the authorities that they were taking steps to involve CSOs more closely in the processes: urged strong efforts in this regard
Announced that the File remains Possible, and both parties were invited to send progress reports to the Spring Bureau in 2024 with information on the two separate issues of the Amulsar Gold mine, and the Revision of the candidate Emerald sites in Armenia.

source, source,

video shows the moment when Armenia's first domestically manufactured satellite is released into space from Falcon 69

Տեսանյութի ձախ կողմում կարող եք տեսնել հրթիռում զետեղված 1U չափի երկու Քյուբսաթերի դուրս գալը արձակող կայանքից՝ ENSO և HAYASAT-1

video,

parliament unanimously refused to vote for the departing Corruption Prevention Committee chair to serve as a member of CPC

CPC chair Haykuhi Harutyunyan was grilled in parliament for two days. The members of the ruling party complained about several decisions made by her. This is the collection of the complaints:
The Chair said she was unbiased in response to accusations that she intentionally defamed the ruling party by making it appear as if a significantly higher number of ruling MPs were found with violations, and that the CPC's own website supposedly listed a much smaller number.
A ruling MP claimed that the Chair included junk articles and "obviously fake reports" about members of the ruling party during her investigations and that not enough was done to filter out the "fakes", and that this has unfairly damaged some MPs' reputation. The Chair said they have a list of "known trustworthy" media outlets but they also accept reports from other sources if they exist.
A ruling MP asked the Chair if anyone had ever pressured her to make a specific ruling. She revealed that when the institution was still new, someone called her from the National Security Services and, citing national security matter, attempted to pressure her around a case involving a certain judge to make the judge's record appear cleaner so the judge could be nominated for a new position. She reportedly refused to "cooperate" and immediately informed Pashinyan's cabinet about the call, and "it has never happened again". The Chair thanked the Pashinyan cabinet for not receiving similar "Soviet-style" phone calls. Parliament president Alen Siomonyan said a criminal investigation might be necessary to find out details about this "NSS phone call". NGO chief Daniel Ioannesian says the caller was the deputy head of NSS. This allegedly happened over 3 years ago. Judges must have their backgrounds checked for violations. Those who fail the check can be terminated by the Supreme Council. Apparently, someone attempted to give this judge a "pass" score so the parliament could have the right to nominate them elsewhere.
A media outlet recently wrote that the Chair's family members failed to present their mandatory income reports and that the Chair refused to launch an investigation against them. The Chair claims it was a result of technical issues with the system and that the income reports were provided on time. Ruling party MPs were not convinced.
A ruling party member accused the Chair of exceeding her authority and pressuring an international donor to fire a specific anti-corruption expert. The details aren't clear.
The ruling party criticized the Chair for co-drafting a bill to extend her tenure by half a year.
Ruling party MP Arsen Torosyan's wife was the director of a hospital at a time when he was the health minister. The media wrote about a possible conflict of interest after learning that the hospital received additional funding from the state. The minister's explanation was that every hospital was receiving additional funding, including the one managed by his wife, thanks to the overall expansion of the health budget after 2018. Nevertheless, the CPC decided to launch an investigation. The MP and the Chair had a verbal argument today. The MP threatened to sue the Chair for defamation.
The ruling party was irritated by the accusation that "if you don't vote for the Chair then you must be corrupt".
In the end, the Chair received zero votes from the ruling and opposition parties.
source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source, source,

European Court for Human Rights sides with Pashinyan administration in a lawsuit brought by several Constitutional Court judges "fired" by Pashinyan

Newly elected Constitutional Court judges were supposed to serve no more than 12 years. The old judges were "grandfathered" and believed they could serve until retirement. In 2020 Pashinyan administration argued that the same limits should be applied to grandfathered judges in order to be in line with the spirit of the Constitution. Three judges, appointed by the former regimes, were dismissed for having served over 12 years. The court president, a member of the former regime, was "demoted" as a regular judge.
They filed a lawsuit against the government, claiming retaliation and financial damage.
ECHR verdict: The plaintiffs' rights were not violated. Armenian government had the right to enact such restrictions. The plaintiffs failed to prove that the government targeted them specifically. Moreover, had these changes not been made, the full implementation of the 2015 constitutional reform would have been severely delayed. The events did not harm the plaintiffs' personal and professional relations in any significant manner. Moreover, Hrayr Tovmasyan [demoted president] was allowed to remain as a judge, while the other plaintiffs received full pensions, regardless of their age. //
source,

Armenian parliament votes 71-25 to approve the 2024 budget

source,

Armenian tourists can buy a visa for $30 at the entry point while visiting Indonesia

The same about Indonesians visiting Armenia. Armenians can stay there for 30 days with the ability to extend by another 30. You must present a return ticket and a passport that doesn't expire within the next 6 months. The island of Bali is popular among Armenian tourists.
source,

... Armenia simplifies visa regime with Panama

Panama will be excluded from the list of countries with visa regime, also on the principle of reciprocity. The citizens of this country have been able to visit Armenia without visa since September 2023

source,

a woman is hospitalized after getting into an argument with her female neighbor about the length and girth of their brooms

Two neighbors in Yerevan's Malatia district couldn't agree around whose broomstick was longer and thicker. The 47yo allegedly grabbed her broom and beat the shit out of the 60yo, sending her to hospital with a head injury.
The police have located the alleged perpetrator but are having difficulty locating the "murder weapon"; the brooms have mysteriously disappeared.
source, source,

It was a dark Monday when I found myself sitting up at about 1 AM, reading a news blog, when I came across an intriguing advertisement that promised to reveal my deepest secret if I were to finish a small quiz.
With nothing better to do and being half-drunk, I clicked on the ad. It redirected me to a webpage with a white background, a small red button in the center, and text that boldly stated "START" in a dark, unsettling font. Clicking the button presented me with the first question: "What is your favorite color?"
"The fuck?" I thought to myself. "What does this even have to do with the quiz?"
Nonetheless, I reluctantly chose an answer and progressed through 13 more questions, each one more outlandish than the last. Before long, the quiz prompted me to type in my email to receive the results.
Now I know how stupid this may seem, but having just lost the last few minutes to this stupid quiz, I might as well get something out of it. I wrote down an old email of mine and hit enter. The email box disappeared, and a loud buzzing sound emanated through my headphones. Annoyed, surprised, and feeling rather angry at this point, I swiftly closed the website, cursing under my breath about the absurdity of it all.
I opened my emails and waited. To my disappointment, nothing came. I waited for at least 5 minutes, double-checking my spam folder, but there was no verification, no result, no email.
Growing tired of waiting, I went back to reading news articles until dawn before dozing off. I woke up hours later, my body aching. I checked my phone; it was 2:30 PM. Suddenly remembering the quiz, I checked my emails, and just like last time, nothing.
I checked my browser history, and while I still found evidence of my presence on the blogs I read before I slept, the quiz was nowhere to be found. I convinced myself it was all a dream, yet it felt so real.
I continued my life normally past that point, pushing the thought of the website to the back of my head. But all stupid things have repercussions, as I was reminded later that week.
I checked my emails to find an email from nobody, I literally mean that. You know where it shows you who sent the email you're reading? That part right there was completely blank. The email in question had no title, only a link embedded in these random letters: "yvdzivgsvurtfivrmhszwldhyozxpsvdrooxlnvuliblfgsvivhmlgfimrmtyzxpmlvhxzkvuilngsvivzkvihvnyizxvrmgsvhgroolumrtsgsvooxozrnsrhkozxvullghgvkhhrovmgzhkvxgizohgirwvsvhwizdrmtmvzimldsvivglsrwvmlkovzfmsvziwmlnvixbrmsrhdzpvgsvvmwzkkilzxsvhzuzgvglkzigzpv"
Hesitantly, I clicked the link. The screen went dark for a moment, then suddenly a video appeared on my screen in full screen. The video was grainy, low-quality, and dark, but you could somewhat discern a figure sitting in front of a monitor. The scene resembled something out of a horror movie, lacking only the ominous violin music.
The recording seemed to be from outside someone's house, looking through a window. The figure in the video was sitting on a chair, facing a monitor. The video was shot from behind the person, making it impossible to identify the person or whatever was on the monitor they were facing.
I tried to move my mouse and I pressed a few buttons on my keyboard, but to no avail. Unlike what I initially thought, there was audio with the video—a man's breathing. The whole thing felt weird; it didn't sit right with me. I got up to turn off my PC but stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed the person in the video had also stood up the same way I did. Hesitantly, I raised my left hand. A second later, the person in the video raised their left hand.
I took off my headset and booked it into the kitchen, I grabbed a knife and rushed into the small bathroom connected to the living room. My hands were shaking, and my heart was racing. I tried to collect my thoughts and think of what to do next.
In my haste, I had left my phone in my bedroom. But there was no way in hell I was going back out there. I had no idea how many people were outside, but I knew their intentions weren't positive.
I did what any other person would do; I waited and prayed. The silence in the bathroom was deafening, broken only by my anxious breaths. I was trapped in my own home.
I'm not afraid of dying; it happens to all of us at some point, but I don't want to die. I have every right in the world to not wanna die. I especially don't want to be murdered in the bathroom of my own home by some dipshit who recorded my final minutes.
The tension in the air was stirred up by loud glass breaking. They had broken a window, no doubt. The sound came from my bedroom, providing me with an opportunity that probably saved my life.
You see, to be in my bedroom, you had to walk through the kitchen, and to walk through the kitchen you had to pass by the bathroom I was in. Just adjacent to the bathroom I was in was the front door of my house. This gave me more than enough time to unlock my front door and make a run for it.
The thought of throwing myself through a window instead of fiddling with the locked door crossed my mind, but I have more brains than balls. Slowly, to not make any noise, I exited the bathroom and walked to the front door. I heard the opening and slamming of a door behind me, reminding me to get the fuck outta there. Somehow, perhaps with luck or skill, I opened the front door without making a fuss.
The moment that door opened, I ran outta that place as if I were competing for first place in the Olympics. Never in my life had I run that fast. Just getting reminded of it makes me feel tired.
I threw my knife in the front garden of my house and ran towards my neighbor's house. I didn't want them to think I meant to harm them. After a few seconds of frantically knocking on their front door, it opened and I was greeted by a middle-aged man. I explained to him that my house was broken into and if he could call the cops for me.
Thankfully, he invited me into his house and he called the cops for me. Through anxious breaths, I only told him that my house had been broken into. He relayed the information to the dispatcher, and we waited for the cops to arrive.
After what felt like an eternity, the cops arrived. I pointed them to my house, and they quickly got to searching through it while my neighbor and I waited in the safety of his home.
A few minutes later, they both came back out and explained that while there was evidence of a break-in, they found nobody in the house. The rest of that night was a blur. I was bombarded with many questions and later escorted to the local police station, where I got asked even more questions.
I spent the next two days in a motel, but something felt amiss. Every second I felt like I was being watched, as if someone was actively spying on me, documenting my every move.
I scoured the web, looking through every corner, exploring forums, reading through news articles, and watching documentaries. All of which was an attempt to discover if this had happened to anyone before. Now, I'm what kids call a "boomer." I was a Medical Consultant when I was younger. I have damn near zero idea of how anyone could find my address through a quiz.
Earlier this evening, my friend drove me over to my house. We thoroughly searched every inch of the place, and interestingly enough, nothing appeared to be stolen. It's not like I had many valuables, but they could have taken anything and yet they didn't.
This left me baffled, as far as I know, breaking into someone's house usually meant that you wish to;
Rob them. Harm them. Kill them.
Now, I'm certain it wasn't the first option. That means someone had done all of that to harm or kill me. It made sense the more I think about it. Some disturbed motherfucker sends me a live stream of them spying on me right before breaking into my home. They didn't want to steal anything.
But who would it be? I made no enemies that I know of. It can't be anyone from work because I have been retired for over a year. It had to be someone I didn't know. I don't have a family, and my friends would do no such thing.
Back at the motel, I scoured the internet for a few hours before I received an email. It was the same thing as last time, the email had no title or author, and it was only a link embedded into these letters: "RmhszwldhtizhkzkivhvmxvmvzihWvzgssrnhvoudrgsjfrvgxsvvihHrovmghgvkhzdzogarmtollnVnyizxvgsvwfhpzgrnvovhhilln"
​
There's nowhere to hide.

Hello everyone! Once again, another update arrives, and we actually have 4 seasons of Winter this time. Thus, I'll be naming the weekly threads in a slightly different manner to avoid confusion.
I haven't watched the update video, but I would suppose there would be the special Christmas and New Year Forzathon shops, so you might want to stay tuned for that!
Anyways, stay safe and have a great week ahead!  
A Super Wheelspin is available for completing the Super7 this week.  

Forzathon Shop

The current Forzathon Shop will change on Dec 14th, 2023 @ 14:30 (UTC).

• 800FP Car: 1965 Alfa Romeo Giulia TZ2
• 650FP Car: 1995 Ferrari F50
• 75FP Clothing: Elf Hat
• 75FP Car Horn: Jingle Bells
• 75FP Clothing: Elf Outfit
• 60FP Wheelspin
• 150FP Super Wheelspin  

Festival Playlist Rewards

• Winter Week 1 - 20/75 Points: 2009 Lotus 2-Eleven (Exclusive Car)
• Winter Week 1 - 40/75 Points: 2021 MG6 XPower (Hard To Find Car)
• Series - 80/300 Points: 2022 Porsche Mission R (Hard To Find Car)
• Series - 160/300 Points: 2011 Koenigsegg Agera (Hard To Find Car)  

Hot Wheels Events - 7 Points

Exclusive to Hot Wheels Owners; the respective Academy Rank must be unlocked. Not required for Season Rewards, Series Completion, or the Min, Meet Max Achievement.  

• Speed Trap: "Dragon's Fall Speed Trap" 321.9 km/h 2 points
• Criteria: 2020 Toyota GR Supra (A-800)
• Reward: Super Wheelspin  
  
• Championship: "Too Hot to Handle" 5 points
  
• Criteria: Manufacturer - Hot Wheels (A-800)
  
• Reward: 2018 Porsche 718 Cayman GTS  
  

Rally Adventure Events - 7 Points

Exclusive to Rally Adventure Owners; required for you to be Horizon Badlands Champion. Not required for Season Rewards, Series Completion, or the Min, Meet Max Achievement.  

• Speed Zone: "Cráteres Secos" 99.8 km/h 2 points
• Criteria: 1973 Ford Escort RS1600 (C-600)
• Reward: Super Wheelspin  
  
• Championship: "Reap the Rewards" 5 points
  
• Criteria: Manufacturer - Lancia (B-700)
  
• Reward: 2001 Audi RS 4 Avant  
  

Forzathon Weekly Challenge - 5 Points

Earn 80FP for completing the weekly challenge, double if you own La Casa Solariega. Must be done in sequence to count.

• Own and drive the 2016 Porsche Cayman GT4.
• Earn 3 Speed Skills at the Winter Wonderland Stadium with the 2016 Porsche Cayman GT4.
• Win a race at the Winter Wonderland Circuit with the 2016 Porsche Cayman GT4.
• Earn 3 Stars at the Ringroad Speed Zone with the 2016 Porsche Cayman GT4.  

Forzathon Daily Challenges - 1 Point Each, 7 Points Total

Each challenge is open for 7 Days from 14:30 UTC* of the start day. Earn 10FP per Challenge, double if you own La Casa Solariega.

• Visit the Winter Wonderland Stadium
• Win a Road Circuit Race
• Spend 50,000 Credits on upgrades at the Horizon Test Track
• Earn 3 Ultimate Air skills in any car with Coupé or Coupe in its name
• Earn a total of 3 stars from Trailblazers in the 2016 Ariel Nomad
• Get 3 Lumberjack skills
• Unlock a Car Mastery on any Lamborghini Aventador  

Seasonal Events - 40 Points Total

The reward listed for Seasonal Championship events requires you to place 1st against at or above the Highly Skilled Drivatar difficulty setting; the Trial requires Unbeatable difficulty and is accessible after entering the Hall of Fame.  

• Horizon Arcade 3 Points
• Criteria: Complete any Horizon Arcade theme.  
  
• The Trial: "Playtime's Over" 10 Points
  
• Criteria: Car Type - Track Toys (S1-900)
  
• Reward: 2003 Porsche Carrera GT  
  
• Event Lab: "Pie Del Volcán" 3 Points
  
• Criteria: Car Type - Retro Supercars (A-800)
  
• Reward: Clothing - Reindeer Antlers  
  
• Event Lab: "Outskirt Scramble" 3 Points
  
• Criteria: Car Type - Modern Rally & Rally Monsters (A-800)
  
• Reward: Super Wheelspin  
  
• Danger Sign: "Los Jardines" 230.0 m 2 Points
  
• Criteria: 1989 Toyota MR2 SC (C-600)
  
• Reward: Super Wheelspin  
  
• Speed Zone: "Punta Allen" 144.8 km/h 2 Points
  
• Criteria: 1980 Fiat 124 Sport Spider (D-500)
  
• Reward: Super Wheelspin  
  
• Speed Trap: "Vado Del Río " 160.9 km/h 2 Points
  
• Criteria: 2014 Volkswagen Golf R (B-700)
  
• Reward: Super Wheelspin  
  
• Championship: "Greatest Brits!" 5 Points
  
• Criteria: Country - United Kingdom (S1-900)
  
• Reward: 2018 McLaren 720S Coupé  
  
• Championship: "Play it Forward" 5 Points
  
• Criteria: Drivetrain - FWD (C-600)
  
• Reward: 2012 Mini John Cooper Works GP  
  
• Championship: "When Nature Calls" 5 Points
  
• Criteria: Manufacturer - Land Rover (A-800)
  
• Reward: 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution VIII MR  
  

Challenges - 7 Points Total

• Treasure Hunt Ain't Snow mountain high enough 3 Points
• Treasure Clue: A chill climb you must start from Los Árboles you'll depart, once you get to Mountain Top you're sure to gain a lot!
• Reward: 100FP  
  
• Photo Challenge #AlpineRetreat 2 Points
  
• Criteria: Photograph any Alpine at either Hotel Mirador Balderrama or Hotel Castillo.
  
• Reward: Car Horn - Sleigh Bells  
  
• Horizon Open Claus & Effect 2 Points
  
• Criteria: Get a Slingshot skill in Horizon Open Racing
  
• Reward: Clothing - Red Nose  
  

Monthly Events - 2 Points per Season (8 Points per Series)

• Monthly Rivals Winter Wonderland Circuit 1 point per Season
• Criteria: Post a clean lap to complete  
  
• Monthly Rivals Marigold Sprint 1 point per Season
  
• Criteria: Post a clean lap to complete  
  

Have a Merry Racing Season in Forza Horizon 5  
FH5 Release Notes: December 5th, 2023  
Master Hockenheim in Forza Motorsport Update 3  

Hi. Throwaway account. I just wanted to warn people that there is an account on tinder claiming to be named “Jes” with a Snapchat claiming to be “Jesha” who pretends to be a private escort. This is a scam.
They demand that you send payment via PayPal to [email protected] without payment protections in order to book services, refuse to accept cash, and refuse to verify their identify with pictures, video calls or phone calls until after paying. There were numerous other red flags that make me confident that this person is not the escort they claim to be.
If you could please report this scammer it could help to prevent them from taking advantage of people who don’t know better, but at the very least PLEASE WATCH OUT and know that this is a fake account.

Who hate it when other people sing along. Why do you go to concerts? I see a lot of Redditors saying how they hate it when people sing along and seemingly enjoy themselves by dancing, etc.
I'm all about supporting your favorite artists, seeing them live, etc. However, the one thing I love the most is the energy the crowd brings with each artists. For a couple of hours complete strangers can bond over something they have in common; generally without issues.
EDIT: Y’all are some crazy kids. I love the opinions. I will agree that there’s a time and place for all of it. That there could always be someone that acts out of pocket and could potentially ruin it for you; regardless of the show. If it gets that bad get security and if it’s an actual issue they will kindly escort those people out. On the flip side, they could also put you in your place by telling you that they’re not doing anything wrong. Tread lightly and be prepared to have your ego bruised a bit.
If you focus on the dumb shit around you, that’s what’s gonna ruin your experience. Everything they do is just gonna piss you off more. Now you’re hyper fixated on them vs. the artist you came to see. In the words of Elsa, “Let it gooooooo.” Enjoy yourself and mind the business that pays you because guess what? Those people you’re so angry at and focused on are absolutely not worried about you!
Seemingly unanimous no’s:

1. Talkers

Not over the band the entire show. Not spending the show catching up on your friend’s date with Mike. There’s a bar somewhere in the venue. Find it and go there.

1. Shriekers

Sing all the words, but don’t yell/shriek them. Metal shows excluded. If you can actually hear those next to you over the band, they either suck or the sound quality is trash.

1. Cell phone warriors

You’re not gonna go back and watch the videos Pam and as much as you think your people are gonna love the snaps throughout the entire show, they likely are just tapping through your story. Put the technology away and enjoy the moment!

1. Artists putting the show mostly on the audience.
   
2. The audacity and entitlement that seems to come from both sides.
   
3. Don’t be a dick.
   
4. People in mosh pits that aren’t actually trying to mosh and then get all up in their emotions.
   

Notable mention to the person that brought up signs! Not all heroes wear capes. Also, that 1974 show must have REALLY sucked!

I was going to make an entire video on this, but quite frankly I am exceedingly lazy so this is going to have to do.
Ever since Greg made is absurd video on the P-47s range where he argues that the so called "bomber mafia" deliberately were holding back the P-47 from its true potential I have wanted to rebut the video. I find it extremely frustrating how easily many people in the general online community have bought his rubbish wholesale. It is quite frankly one of the most nonsensical and factually dubious videos on his channel.
Gregs big clincher in this video is a 200 gallon drop tank he claims tha Republic made that the USAAF was just deliberately ignoring. There are so many problems with this particualr part of his narrative that it is part of why I had a hard time making a video on this. It would have been extremely long trying to point out the many logical as well as factual issues that this claim presents that quite frankly should have been obvious to anyone with a modicum of knowledge on the subject even if they did not know what I am going to point out here. Some of the obvious issues with this claim are the fact that around the same time this manual was published, the USAAF was scrambling to get drop tanks to the escorts by pretty much any means necessary. This included improvising paper tanks, and trying to use the 200 gallong ferry tank in this role even thought it was completely inaqdequate. Somehow according to Greg, everyone was conspiring to deliberately not use escort fighters even though everyone in this period was demanding more escorts and longer range and making every feasible effort to make this happen. Greg COMPLETELY IGNORES, that Hap Arnold made a long range escort fighter priority number 1 back in February 1942. This is a weird thing to do for a man who was supposedly so wedding to unescorted bombing that they were willing to deliberately sabotage efforts to improve the range of the P-47 to somehow save face rather than admit unescorting bombing was unfeasable. I could go on forever about this, such as shortages of metal to make the drop tanks, competing demands on resources from different theatres, etc.
Despite going on at the beginning of the video about how people just repeat the same old narratives because they never look at the primary sources, Greg proceeds to demonstrate by this video that having primary souces is completely pointless if you cannot be bothered to read said documents with sufficient attention to detail. Greg uses a 1943 P-47 manual to claim that the 200 gallon drop tank in the manual is a new, BEFORE NOW SOMEHOW TOTALLY UNHEARD OF, high atltiude capable drop tank that is supposedly NOT the 200 gallon ferry tank. He comes to this conclusion by looking at the range charts in the back of the manual and observing that the predicted range values are given for altitudes well over those known to be possible with the ferry tank. Therefore, accoding to Greg, this is some myterious republic drop tank that was "fully flight tested" above 20,000 feet. However, Greg is wrong. This drop tank was never flight tested.
I took the liberty of purchasing an actual color copy of this manual due to some very important words at the bottom of the page that Greg did not bother to read. All of the copies of this manual online are black and white.
https://imgur.com/8W3OIVx
AT THE BOTTOM IT STATES THAT ALL FIGURES IN RED ARE PRELIMINARY, AND SUBJECT TO FLIGHT TEST.
NOTICE THE ENTIRE CHART IS IN RED.
None of these values were "flight tested". Therefore, there is no evidence here that this is some never before seen high atltiude drop tank the USAAF was deliberately ignoring. What this is, is the ferry tank, and whoever wrote the manual simply filled in the range estimations ignoring the fact that this drop tank could not be used at high altitude.
Gregs Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCLa078v69k&t=303s&pp=ygUWcmFuZ2UgZGVjZWl0IHRyZWFjaGVyeQ%3D%3D
​
Sources: MARCH-1943 P-47B,C,D,G Pilots Flight Operating Instructions

Hello I'm Male 28 years old single,
I have never had an intimate relationship with a woman
I had slept with some of the escort women but that was not Real relationship with intimate partner.
My Achievements:
i stop fap for one year and i did a lot of workout and i gain more muscle everything is good.
My Issue:
I cannot control my gaze if I am talking to women at work or elsewhere, and this thing is very annoying. I try to avoid women because of this thing, and some female colleagues at work have a bad idea about me, that I am a perverted person.
I watched a video of someone saying if you look at someone forehead they will think you see there eyes "i try it's working" , But the problem is when I see the eye by accident , it stays in my mind and this affects my work,
How to overcome this?

Hope you guys enjoy it! Btw, some of my stories are featuring on this channel, take a look if you want:
https://www.youtube.com/@InterstellarRoadtripper2689
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
​
It began as an ordinary Tuesday morning in Washington D.C. as commuters hurried to work under sunny skies. Without warning, phone alerts and televisions crackled to life with an emergency broadcast. Breaking news banners flashed ominously of unidentified objects detected entering Earth's atmosphere.
Pedestrians froze in place, gazing upward. Across the clear blue horizon, tiny glints of light resolved into terrifyingly enormous shapes. A collective gasp rippled through the crowds as the reality sunk in - a fleet of massive alien spacecraft were descending from the heavens.
Panic erupted on the streets as people abandoned cars and ran for shelter. But there was nowhere to hide from the mammoth vessels effortlessly gliding into position over the capital. In perfect synchronization they came to an eerie standstill above the most famous buildings and monuments, blotting out the sun.
The true scale became gut-wrenchingly clear. Each ship was the size of a city, dwarfing even the Pentagon below. Smooth and metallic, with strange glyphs etched into their hulls, they were utterly alien in design. The unknown creatures inside had technology far exceeding human capabilities.
Without warning, a booming voice spoke in every language simultaneously from the largest ship positioned over the White House. "Help us!" it pleaded ominously. The transmission repeated on loop, heard around the world. Speculation exploded about what extraterrestrial agenda lay behind this surreal and terrifying first contact event.
Inside the West Wing, Secret Service agents urgently escorted President Joe Biden to the Situation Room bunker where an emergency meeting was already convening via video conference. Present were Russian President Vladimir Putin from his Kremlin office, Chinese President Xi Jinping inside the Great Hall of the People, French President Emmanuel Macron at the Élysée Palace, and British Prime Minister Boris Johnson hastily summoned to 10 Downing Street.
Each leader was reeling in disbelief from their respective locations across the globe. But the gravity of the situation dictated they put aside all other concerns and tensions between their nations. With so much uncertainty and human lives at stake, it was imperative to coordinate an international response.
On the massive screens, the imposing alien armada hovered silently as anxious military advisors highlighted just how helpless Earth's defenses were against such technology. Any rash actions could lead to catastrophic devastation if they were to attack. The leaders cautiously agreed to attempt establishing contact. The message indicated that they were requesting aid, but could that claim be trusted?
At the United Nations headquarters in New York, Secretary-General António Guterres made an urgent address by video appealing for level heads. "Let us approach this peacefully and remind ourselves of our shared humanity in reaching out to the unknown," he implored the world.
Inside mission control at NASA, scientists feverishly tried to establish a communication link with the alien ships. Broadcasting signals on all frequencies and in multiple languages, they repeatedly transmitted the message: "We hear your request for help. Please identify yourself and state your intentions."
The world held its breath, transfixed with frightened anticipation about what might happen next with extraterrestrial visitors of incomprehensible power hovering silently overhead.
Inside the cavernous interior of the alien flagship, panicked crowds of the Zentradi race gathered in desperation. Once a technologically advanced civilization on a thriving homeworld lightyears away, environmental collapse had forced evacuation of their entire population on massive migration fleets.
Conditions were grim within the congested vessels meant for military use, not housing refugees. Food and resources were scarce after years adrift in space searching for a new home. Many Zentradi had perished already, with more lives at risk each passing cycle. Their leader, Britai Kridanik, felt the heavy burden as hope dimmed.
When long-range scanners detected electromagnetic signals and primitive satellite networks orbiting the distant planet Earth, Britai ordered an intercept course and rallied his people. Perhaps they would find compassion from these newly discovered lifeforms. After a grueling month-long journey near light speed, they arrived at the blue world.
Britai composed and broadcast the message pleading for sanctuary in all languages detected from Earth. As expected, pandemonium erupted below at their imposing arrival. But to his surprise, the humans displayed restraint and intelligence by cautiously reaching out instead of attacking.
Inside the UN assembly now linked to the alien ship, Secretary General Guterres greeted Britai via video transmission. Britai was shocked to see many diverse human factions unified under one body. Guterres explained they sought peaceful solutions through cooperation.
Moved by humanity's compassion and wisdom, Britai made an impassioned plea describing his people's desperation. He knew it was audacious asking for aid when resources were likely limited on Earth. But Britai also sensed the goodness within these humans along with their potential. An alliance could be mutually beneficial.
Addressing the UN council, Britai confessed he expected hostility and violence. Yet the humans saw beyond differences to find understanding. There was much the Zentradi could offer technically, Britai stated, in exchange for temporary refuge and relief. He awaited their decision hopefully, knowing his own people's survival depended on it.
Intense debate raged within the United Nations over how to respond to the refugees. Some representatives voiced suspicion, like Brazilian President Bolsonaro who saw invaders to be destroyed at all costs. But Mexican President Lopez Obrador argued they had a moral duty to help the displaced Zentradi. If humanity failed this test of empathy, Obrador warned, they risked catastrophe later when roles were reversed.
After reviewing extensive data on the Zentradi and their dying homeworld, the Council ultimately ruled in favor of providing provisional aid and shelter. But settlement plans and resource allocations must be strategic. World leaders would continue analyzing the aliens' capabilities closely for any deception.
Britai breathed deep in relief at the news. Though some human factions clearly still distrusted the Zentradi, the UN decree of support meant survival for now. He vowed to repay such unexpected kindness one day. Officers were immediately dispatched to begin orderly transportation of refugees to the surface for processing and care by human relief agencies. For the first time in years, his people would have solid ground under their feet and freedom from hunger. There was hope again.
In the months following the UN's decision to provide sanctuary, a massive coordinated effort unfolded to integrate the Zentradi refugees across Earth. Carefully regulated ships transported the aliens from orbit to designated zones worldwide.
Sprawling encampments were rapidly assembled by international aid groups, equipped with temporary housing, sanitation, and medical facilities. Tens of thousands of Zentradi were relocated to begin new lives far from the cramped spacecraft that had been their prison.
The camps allowed screening of new arrivals while attempting to meet basic needs. Zentradi physicians and engineers were recruited to assist. Though conditions were still sparse compared to Earth standards, for most refugees it was a vast improvement. They marveled at the open sky, fresh water, and green growing things after too long in cold space.
With huge numbers involved, tensions sometimes flared with local human populations despite UN efforts. Misunderstandings occurred on both sides that often turned to fear or anger among communities suddenly forced together.
But progress was made through cooperation. Young Zentradi and human volunteers stepped up to serve as cultural liaisons, helping build bridges. The shared hardships fostered empathy between the two groups. And for many humans, contact with the aliens was exciting, an opportunity to learn.
Overseeing the resettlement, the UN pursued integration strategies granting Zentradi agency and self-governance where possible. Zentradi technical expertise could be a boon for Earth and help pay back humanitarian aid. Their advanced engineers partnered with SpaceX to construct clean energy grids reducing resource strain.
Knowledge exchanges produced revolutionary gains for human medicine, agriculture, materials science, and manufacturing. Linguists delighted in decoding the Zentradi language, discovering an intricate verbal and written legacy. Anthropologists gained profound insights into Zentradi history, culture, and physiology to further mutual understanding.
As conditions stabilized, a bold strategy took shape. Human and Zentradi space agencies would collaborate to construct a permanent autonomous Zentradi colony on Mars, easing residual population pressures on Earth. This huge endeavor required commitment from NASA, SpaceX, the ESA, CNSA, and more alongside leading Zentradi.
Five years after the arrival, the completed Zentradi metropolis gleamed red under the thin Martian atmosphere, realized by the combined efforts of two civilizations. It stood as a symbol of possibility when different peoples worked in concert. As the colony celebrated first light, even the doubters had to acknowledge the benefits and good faith the newcomers offered.

Basic safety tips:

• Review your real public profiles on Facebook/Instagram/Whatsapp/Telegram/Snapchat/LinkedIn/TwitteReddit etc and harden its security. Remove your email-id and phone number details from all places that are public. Don’t allow comments/tagging from people that are not in your network.
• Don’t use your public phone number. Get a new SIM and use that for browsing and chatting on Whatsapp. Scammers will search for phone records on apps like Truecaller to threaten you by exposing your identity. If possible, use a different phone or a different profile in Android phone. All good Android phones support multiple profiles.
• Keep your new Whatsapp public profile to bare minimum i.e. setup Last-seen and online, Profile Photo, About and Status to Nobody/MyContacts only. Disable read-receipts as well for additional safety. Do the same on Telegram. Scams are more frequent on Telegram compared to Whatsapp
• Prefer paying cash instead of online transaction. If you have to pay online, Use UPI on a bank account that doesn’t have a big balance. This will prevent you from slipping further in case you fell trap to scams. Transfer money into this account from other accounts.
• Use UPI Aggregators to transfer money. Some bank UPI apps don’t allow UPI username customisation, it will be your-bank-phone-number@bank . Don’t use default UPI usernames. Use UPI username that is not related to your online presence, something like - random-name-12345asd@paytm . Your legal name will be visible in the receipt that you would have to share. You can’t avoid that in online payments. You can edit the snapshot to blucolour it.
• Never show you face in the video call. Use a physical cover like this or your finger to cover the camera. Stop video as soon as call starts. Mute it when you don’t want to speak. Assume the call is getting recorded on other end and can be used to extort money out of you
• Never share details like your name and address. You can share locality name to check service availability in case of offline out-call services.
• Scammers can get your photo and other details if you don’t take care of your safety. They have tools built that can help them get this information faster via search engines. They will use your phone number, name and location for searching along with other details that you shared. Setup dummy avatars or random things as your DP on Whatsapp/UPI-app or any other app that you use for surfing.
• Scammers will always threaten to leak information to get more money out. If you have followed these safety tips, they don’t have anyone/anything to leak to. Random stranger doesn’t care about this information. Sometimes, they will threaten you by sharing your leaked photo as their profile photo. This is temporary and it hurts their business more. They will remove it shortly. Don’t worry about it.
• Sometimes scammers will threaten you by sending a lot of messages to your associated number from different websites like Flipkart/Paytm/Meesho/Housing/Dealshare etc. They want you to believe that they will hack your account and get your address and other details. Don’t trust them, it’s not possible to login into your account till you share the OTP. Never share your OTP to anyone.
• If somehow, scammers have found out who are you. Turn off your phone and take a break. You don’t have to panic. They don’t have time to continue chasing you, they have more to scam. Scammers understand that if they push it too hard, police will be involved and they will be caught.
• Remember, prostitution is legal in India as long as you are talking to the man/women of legal age directly and there are no pimps involved. Scammers rely on societal pressure of defame to get extra money out of you.
• To be on safer side, take a backup of complete chat along with other details like phone-number and UPI transfer details.

For Online Video calls

​

• Check for genuine description on online dating/escort websites. Prefer independent folks, not agencies. Online platforms are filled with scammers. There are 8 scammers for every 2 genuine folks. Most of the descriptions will be copy-paste. Genuine descriptions stand out.
• Trust adverts with small demo fee instead of the one that are completely free
• Ensure that you are able to see the face and ascertain you are talking to same person that you saw in advert. Avoid being catfished.
• Pay for minimum number of minutes for a video call and check for scamming techniques like Security fee(refundable 🤣), co-operation fee, police safety fee etc. Walk out the moment you hear demands like this. You will lose some money, but by doing this you will avoid losing more.
• Genuine people don’t ask for these fees. It’s better to do one big transaction instead of multiple small transactions. Honesty is the key. Folks that are upfront are better
• Remain polite and gentle. No need to shout/cuss. Don’t waste your energy and spoil your mood. Expect it to happen till you find a good service provider.

For Offline meet-ups

​

• Only pay a token fee and ask for face verification via a video call. This is a must. Without this, you don’t even know if you are talking to a man or woman. Avoid being catfished.
• Bookings are mostly done for shots. Short-time is 1-2 shots, full day/night means 3-5 shots.
• Always meet in public places. Avoid shady areas. In case you are going to an independent house, ensure that it is occupied and there is someone inside. Sometimes, scammers will share location of empty/to-let houses and will ask for full payment of service fee before they open the door 😂
• Prefer hotels for the deed. Sometimes scammers will share a random hotel link and will ask for payment to share room details once you reach there. Don’t do this. Insist on paying hand-to-hand. Sometimes, they will say that they can’t share it without payment. Walk away in those cases. They don’t have anyone in the hotel and are doing this just to extort more money
• Prefer live location sharing on the day of the deed. Live location can also be spoofed, use your judgement
• Don’t pay anything extra till you see the person. Genuine people will meet. Scammers will insist payment before. Always do hand-to-hand payment
• If you paid the security/service fee before verifying, stay ready to be scammed with many more fees - Refundable security charges, co-operation charges, police safety charges, condom charges etc. You should avoid falling trap to it. Don’t fall for sunk-cost fallacy, focus on cutting your losses.
• Always go in generic clothing with no valuables. Keep your watch/wallet/ring etc away before you leave. If possible, use a surgical mask to cover your face to avoid getting captured in cameras before service is provided.
• Take your own pack of condoms and have fun if you have encountered a genuine person

Source: http://archive.today/eIjna

As weddings are my specialist subject, having edited wedding videos for the past nine years, it was inevitable that I would write a story about one. The best part was going back through my list of funniest quotes and stories I've heard over the years and being able to share them with you. Especially for any readers who, like Frapill, have never attended an American wedding, I hope you enjoy this one!
***
We were on our lunch break, at our favorite pizza place. Once we gave our orders to the waitress, Felicia folded her hands and looked at me, a strange smile on her face. “Frapill, I have something I want to talk to you about. About my wedding.”
My membranes flickered over my eyes. “Oh! You said it will be a long time.”
“Oh, yeah, it takes forever to plan it. But. Even though we’ve only been friends like three months, I know we’re going to be friends for a long time,” she said with a hint of a smirk. “I want you to come to my wedding…and be one of my bridesmaids.”
The hue of my scales darkened, and my mouth opened in surprise. “You…your wedding? You want me to come?”
“What, you thought you weren’t invited?” she grinned.
I bounced in my seat. “Thank you! That’s- I’ve never been to a human wedding! I just…”
Felicia’s eyes narrowed worriedly. “What?”
“…What’s a bridesmaid?”
She paused and then facepalmed. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Felicia,” she whispered to herself. Looking up, she met my gaze. “For men it’s groomsmen and for women it’s bridesmaids. I’ve got two other friends I’m asking, plus my sister is the maid of honor. All other guests arrive at the ceremony, but you’ll be with me when I get ready. You’ll stand up at the altar with me. A bridesmaid is…a special guest.”
I couldn’t speak for a few moments, but she was staring, so I managed to nod jerkily. She smiled wide.
When I’d started working at the graphics company three months ago, Felicia was the first to greet me. Excited to have her first alien coworker, I quickly became her first alien friend. I hadn’t thought that the kinds of friendships that simply click together could happen with other species, so meeting her was a delight, and a huge relief. My brother worked on Earth as well, but he was in New York, and I lived in California.
The way Felicia hung on my every word when talking about life back home, since she’d never left Earth, was immensely flattering. But I knew why she did so, because I did the same when she talked about her childhood on Earth. It was fascinating how different species could be so similar in some ways and so different in others.
When Felicia had gotten engaged, she had come rushing over to my desk to show me the ring on her finger. She’d already given me a crash course in human dating and mating rituals, and had been expecting it to happen, which allowed me to react with the appropriate amount of enthusiasm. She had told me about how she and Darrell had been friends for months, then dated for three years, had lived together for the past year, and now they were engaged. This was the typical process for human mating, I’d learned. Now, it was time for me to learn about the ceremony itself.
When I got home that day after work, I searched on the encyclopedia Earth citizens maintained online and a startling amount of information came up about bridesmaids. I knew ceremonies varied, though, and I would go with the flow as everything happened. My priority was simply making sure I wasn’t clueless. I just wanted to be confident enough to enjoy the momentous occasion without worrying about making a faux pas.
From Felicia’s description and the information I learned, it seemed I would be just what she’d described: a special guest. My eyes dilated and I felt a happy warmth bloom inside me. My next search was for what a human ceremony would entail, specifically an American one. Like everything else on this planet, I was sure it was culturally specific, and I was right. And I realized that this was a whole lot more than a binding ceremony back home on Arkinsa.
Felicia had told me when we’d first discussed things that she didn’t want “some monstrosity of a wedding”. It was only important to her to, one, make sure it was a wonderful time for everyone involved, and two, that she hired someone to record video so they could look back and enjoy it for the rest of their lives. I made the mistake of searching ‘expensive human weddings’ and dear Maker, you could vacation on Europa for months for those prices!
Since I found list of information about wedding ceremonies on a vendor website, I was pretty sure they wouldn’t include lots of unnecessary information, which meant it really was quite complex. From specifying the order people walked down the aisle to the altar (the bride was last, of course, escorted by a parent), to the vows and rings (I had confusion at first; didn’t they already do rings?), to several possible rituals with candles or sand or glass, it was all fascinating.
Then I reached the section for ‘post ceremony’. This was interesting, because I hadn’t been told there was anything after, but now the extensive planning made sense. The married couple shares their first dance, shares a dance with a parent (usually of the opposite gender), then there were speeches. I had a brief moment of panic that I would have to give a speech, but then assured myself that Felicia would have told me. But after my info-gathering spree, I had a sudden moment of comprehension; this ‘wedding’ wasn’t just a binding ceremony. It was a party.
And then everything made sense.
One of the well-known facts, a cliché at this point, was that humans took any excuse to have a party. Birthdays, anniversaries, new job, new home, new offspring, graduations, the list went on and on. And this was one of the biggest moments of their life, so of course it would require the grandest of all parties!
When the months ticked by, life continuing as normal, and I eventually reached the point where the wedding was in just a few weeks, it took me by surprise. Felicia had been dropping random tidbits about the planning process into conversations for so long that it felt it would never arrive. Of course, every time she made the note, “And that will save us a lot of money,” I nodded enthusiastically.
They were having the ceremony in the sizeable backyard of a family friend and then the reception in their large barn. The backup plan for rain was to have everything in the barn, but scheduling it for a California spring was not much of a risk. Also, the wedding itself was to be more casual than typical, with an exceptionally tasty but common American food buffet, and much of the work to set everything up was being done by Felicia’s extensive family as well as the bride herself.
The human bridesmaids all bought various light-purple dresses, and I was given the color to find something that would match from a Reptilian store. I was quite happy with what I found, and Felicia said it looked awesome. She herself had bought what she described as a gorgeous sparkly dress that went through a gradient of light to dark purple from the top to the bottom. (I say ‘described’ because she refused to show me.) I’d read all sorts of facts about white dresses, but I knew my friend was far from the type pressured by tradition. And these days, humans essentially took the guidelines of a standard wedding and made whatever changes they wished.
When I arrived at the location, I brought my clothes and shoes inside and was welcomed with a warm hug from the owner of the huge house. There was a special decorative cage on a table for gifts, and I dropped in the card (with cash inside, of course) that I’d brought with me. She directed me upstairs to the room where Felicia and the other bridesmaids had already arrived. There were two videographers in the house, I learned, and one was with us while the other was with Darrell.
Felicia bounced up from her chair, where she’d been having her makeup put on (her pixie haircut was already perfect), and rushed over to give me a hug. “I’m getting married!”
“You’ve said that every time someone comes in!” exclaimed a young woman I recognized as her sister, Briana. “We know. That’s why we’re here. Now sit your butt back down, I’m not done!”
I couldn’t consume alcohol, but all the others did so, with one of the other bridesmaids, Vicki, pouring drinks called ‘mimosas’. I could, however, drink orange juice, and did so in order to participate when they toasted to a happy marriage.
“You want one?” Vicki asked with a smile, holding up the bottle in the direction of the videographer.
“Want and should, two different things,” the woman replied.
We each got into our dresses and then apparently our job was to stand and wait in a line with our eyes closed when Felicia came out of the bathroom in her dress. And I have to say, that is a wonderful tradition. Her sister jumped in the air and squealed, and the others gasped. She looked like a princess, and we told her so.
“Here you go,” said Briana, handing over what I knew was ‘the bouquet’.
“Oh my god, this thing is heavy,” Felicia said in surprise, holding it and giving it a deep sniff.
“You’ll want to hold it lower, like at your waist,” said Vicki, pointing.
“No, not exactly,” spoke up Heidi. “Your belly button-”
“It should be comfortable to hold though.”
“Just show me!” Felicia exclaimed. “I don’t know what I’m doing! This is my first time getting married!”
My outfit was easiest to kneel down in, so I helped Felicia put on her shoes. The videographer moved around me for a better angle, and I pulled back. “Oh, sorry.”
“No, you’re good, you’re supposed to be in this!” she assured me with a grin.
Then someone texted both of Felicia’s mothers and they came into the room to look at her in her dress, like we had. “Oh my god,” Jasmine breathed. Paula was speechless, her hands on her cheeks. “Sweetheart…”
“Don’t look at me like that,” Felicia whimpered as I saw Paula blink back tears. “Bri just did my makeup! Say something mean.”
“You look…hideous.” The humor broke the tension and laughter managed to keep the tears at bay. I still have no idea how human females keep their makeup unspoiled at weddings when their species cries from intense emotion. The males had it much easier. I was told they had it much easier in terms of preparation as well, apparently.
The woman who owned the house, Amber, had taken charge of organizing everything. She was invaluable, starting the music over the stereo, telling everyone to exit out the back door in the proper order. As soon as things had started in earnest, I’d felt completely out of place. It didn’t help that I was about a foot taller than all the other guests. And, you know, green. But according to Felicia, I looked fantastic in purple.
Paula and Jasmine both walked Felicia down the aisle and I’m sure I would have cried if I was physically able when I saw Darrell’s reaction at the sight of her. I knew males were less emotional than females, but he had tears streaming down his face. I watched, admittedly in mild fascination, as I saw Felicia ‘handed off’ to him at the altar and the mothers took their seats. There were perhaps a hundred people there, quite a crowd.
The officiant was one of Felicia’s cousins, Nancy, assigned to the job since apparently she had done this before. I know this was my first wedding, but I think all humans should have it done by someone they know. She was casual, comfortable, and unexpectedly funny.
“Good afternoon to all the guests here today. Felicia and Darrell request that you put away your cell phones for the duration of the ceremony. But first, you may take one…last…picture.” At that, I smothered a chuckle as half the guests immediately took out their communicators and took photos. Once they were done, she spoke up again. “And that is it. Just so you know, if your communicator goes off during the ceremony, that means you're making a donation to their honeymoon.”
I’d read about the honeymoon. That was a good threat.
The words of welcome, the discussion of marriage, the personal touch when she discussed the bride and groom, everything was just as I’d read online. It was wonderful, and somehow quaint. I’d worried there would be something I’d missed in my research, but in the end this was simply two people being bound together in love. Nothing ostentatious, nothing convoluted.
“Now after these words and vows that Felicia and Darrell say to each other,” Nancy said, “they will share a name, a home, a life together, and all electronic passwords.” My mouth parted in a smile as I heard giggles from the audience.
They had written their own vows and, my goodness, that was brilliant. I had never attended a wedding for another species before, but Reptilians didn’t have that. It was always a standard recitation of traditional, time-honored promises. Well, we didn’t have personal vows yet. If I ever bound myself to someone, my ceremony sure would!
Then the ring exchange, which resulted in a slight difficulty, getting Darrell’s ring on. It was, perhaps, a few millimeters too small. “That’s okay, it’s just never coming off,” Darrell said with a wave of his hand.
Then I sensed a shift in the atmosphere, and I stood a little straighter, looking from the other guests back to the couple. “Felicia and Darrell, you have expressed your love to one another through the commitment and promises you have just made. It is with these in mind that I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”
The crowd erupted in applause and I joined in. And then everyone proceeded back down the aisle, chatting away as transitioned to the reception.
Firstly, there was someone there in charge of the music, a DJ or MC, some combination of letters that felt interchangeable, named Pedro. Everyone in the ‘bridal party’ was introduced by name as we walked into the reception area to special songs and applause, and everyone stood to give a round of especially loud applause as the married couple swept in and onto the dance floor. They shared their first dance, Darrell shared a dance with his mother, and Felicia split a song between Jasmine and Paula.
Then it was time for food! Felicia had said ‘American’ and she hadn’t been kidding. There were hotdogs and hamburgers, corn on the cob, ribs, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, a salad bar, and a spread of crackers and cheeses. I ate so much, especially the meats, that I knew the toasts must always be scheduled after the meal on purpose. It gave everyone a chance to digest!
On that note, the toasts were delightful. I knew after that, perhaps even more than getting the ceremony itself, why Felicia had mentioned the importance to her of getting the occasion on video.
“…There was this one time when, on the run up to kindergarten,” Paula said, “Felicia had this flyer for the school and kept staring at it and I said, “What's wrong?” and she goes, “I can't read this! They're never going to let me into kindergarten!”
“It's an honor to be here. To be anywhere, really, at this age...” her grandfather had begun.
“...Number eight. They say never go to bed angry, but they never said don't go to bed while plotting revenge,” Briana told her sister, who hadn’t stopped laughing since she’d started her list of ‘advice’. “Number nine. Therapy is cheaper than bail...”
“…So, we decided to burn the Christmas tree outside, and for anyone who’s never done that, you get like a 35-foot flame,” the best man said, prompting my membranes to flick rapidly across my eyes. “And the fire department shows up and I’m like, “Darrell, do you have hotdogs? Go get hotdogs, put some on a stick! As long as you’re cooking something, it’s legal!”
If I hadn’t been sure I was at a human wedding before, I sure was by that point.
“…Should I tell the story of when my brother and I threw a party, and then he threw out the trash over the fence into the woods behind our yard?” asked Darrell’s brother Kyle. “A storm came that night and blew it all over our backyard. Or maybe the one where he called home after a snowboarding accident and went, ‘I’m fine mom, I just have a concussion and need to stay in a dark room for a few days.’ We asked where he was. He replied, ‘Driving home.’ And we found out he didn't know what month it was, much less how to actually get home.”
I later asked Felicia about this story. She replied breezily that, yes, she had married this man, and now it was her job to keep him alive.
The cutting of the cake wasn’t particularly extravagant, but I wasn’t sure how you were supposed to make something like that momentous. Well, it turned out the feeding was the momentous part.
“All right now on the count of three the bride and groom are going to feed each other some cake,” Pedro spoke into the microphone, “so shout, cheer, throw small children into the air, they're pliable. One, two, three!”
The piece of cake that had been cut, and taken by each of them in hand, was smushed in what I could only describe as the vague direction of the other's mouth. And everyone laughed and cheered.
“How’s it taste?” called Vicki.
“Tastes great!” Felicia replied, wiping it off her cheeks and into her mouth. She rubbed at her nose. “Smells really good too!”
When those who were single lined up for the bouquet toss, I was concerned I was in over my head. “Ladies, safety is paramount during this bouquet toss, of course,” Pedro called out to us. “So, shoving, kneeing, biting, kicking...they're all crowd favorites, so go for it.”
“One!” Felicia shouted. “Two! Three!” And the bouquet was tossed over her shoulder into the air.
Luckily, I escaped uninjured. The DJ had exaggerated, as humans tend to do, and Vicki caught the bouquet, which she seemed exceptionally pleased with.
By that time, the food had settled in our stomachs, which was good since apparently the party necessitated several hours of dancing next. I was in luck, because despite also being bipedal, I have no idea how to dance, but there are many human songs that have moves everyone does together. Some of them even have directions built into the lyrics!
The first one that came on gave me even more confidence, because as I looked around to copy everyone, after about five seconds Pedro stopped the song and went, “Hang on, hang on, hang on, what was that?” Everyone fell apart laughing as he reset the song and came out onto the dance floor. “All right, I am earning my paycheck tonight. If there is anyone who actually does know how to do the electric slide, you’re up here with me.”
Also, it turned out swaying back and forth to the beat counts as dancing if everyone else around you knows what they’re doing, so I participated quite a bit. My feet ached by the end of the night, even having skipped many of the songs.
As people started to give the bride and groom a hug goodbye and head to their cars, I realized the night was coming to its conclusion. I’d never experienced anything like this before and it had been wondrous. Walking over to Felicia, I gave her a big hug and then held her back at arm’s length. “I have no idea what to say,” I told her tiredly. “GalNet did not properly prepare me. Thank you so much for inviting me to your wedding.”
“You are very welcome,” Felicia said with a warm smile. “It was awesome to have you here and an honor to be the one to pop your Earth wedding cherry.”
I cocked my head. “There were cherries? In the cake?”
Felicia’s face did something funny before she shook her head and chuckled. “You’re the best, Frapill. I’ll call you when we get back from our honeymoon. We’ll go get pizza, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
***
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As weddings are my specialist subject, having edited wedding videos for the past nine years, it was inevitable that I would write a story about one. The best part was going back through my list of funniest quotes and stories I've heard over the years and being able to share them with you. Especially for any readers who, like Frapill, have never attended an American wedding, I hope you enjoy this one!
***
We were on our lunch break, at our favorite pizza place. Once we gave our orders to the waitress, Felicia folded her hands and looked at me, a strange smile on her face. “Frapill, I have something I want to talk to you about. About my wedding.”
My membranes flickered over my eyes. “Oh! You said it will be a long time.”
“Oh, yeah, it takes forever to plan it. But. Even though we’ve only been friends like three months, I know we’re going to be friends for a long time,” she said with a hint of a smirk. “I want you to come to my wedding…and be one of my bridesmaids.”
The hue of my scales darkened, and my mouth opened in surprise. “You…your wedding? You want me to come?”
“What, you thought you weren’t invited?” she grinned.
I bounced in my seat. “Thank you! That’s- I’ve never been to a human wedding! I just…”
Felicia’s eyes narrowed worriedly. “What?”
“…What’s a bridesmaid?”
She paused and then facepalmed. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Felicia,” she whispered to herself. Looking up, she met my gaze. “For men it’s groomsmen and for women it’s bridesmaids. I’ve got two other friends I’m asking, plus my sister is the maid of honor. All other guests arrive at the ceremony, but you’ll be with me when I get ready. You’ll stand up at the altar with me. A bridesmaid is…a special guest.”
I couldn’t speak for a few moments, but she was staring, so I managed to nod jerkily. She smiled wide.
When I’d started working at the graphics company three months ago, Felicia was the first to greet me. Excited to have her first alien coworker, I quickly became her first alien friend. I hadn’t thought that the kinds of friendships that simply click together could happen with other species, so meeting her was a delight, and a huge relief. My brother worked on Earth as well, but he was in New York, and I lived in California.
The way Felicia hung on my every word when talking about life back home, since she’d never left Earth, was immensely flattering. But I knew why she did so, because I did the same when she talked about her childhood on Earth. It was fascinating how different species could be so similar in some ways and so different in others.
When Felicia had gotten engaged, she had come rushing over to my desk to show me the ring on her finger. She’d already given me a crash course in human dating and mating rituals, and had been expecting it to happen, which allowed me to react with the appropriate amount of enthusiasm. She had told me about how she and Darrell had been friends for months, then dated for three years, had lived together for the past year, and now they were engaged. This was the typical process for human mating, I’d learned. Now, it was time for me to learn about the ceremony itself.
When I got home that day after work, I searched on the encyclopedia Earth citizens maintained online and a startling amount of information came up about bridesmaids. I knew ceremonies varied, though, and I would go with the flow as everything happened. My priority was simply making sure I wasn’t clueless. I just wanted to be confident enough to enjoy the momentous occasion without worrying about making a faux pas.
From Felicia’s description and the information I learned, it seemed I would be just what she’d described: a special guest. My eyes dilated and I felt a happy warmth bloom inside me. My next search was for what a human ceremony would entail, specifically an American one. Like everything else on this planet, I was sure it was culturally specific, and I was right. And I realized that this was a whole lot more than a binding ceremony back home on Arkinsa.
Felicia had told me when we’d first discussed things that she didn’t want “some monstrosity of a wedding”. It was only important to her to, one, make sure it was a wonderful time for everyone involved, and two, that she hired someone to record video so they could look back and enjoy it for the rest of their lives. I made the mistake of searching ‘expensive human weddings’ and dear Maker, you could vacation on Europa for months for those prices!
Since I found list of information about wedding ceremonies on a vendor website, I was pretty sure they wouldn’t include lots of unnecessary information, which meant it really was quite complex. From specifying the order people walked down the aisle to the altar (the bride was last, of course, escorted by a parent), to the vows and rings (I had confusion at first; didn’t they already do rings?), to several possible rituals with candles or sand or glass, it was all fascinating.
Then I reached the section for ‘post ceremony’. This was interesting, because I hadn’t been told there was anything after, but now the extensive planning made sense. The married couple shares their first dance, shares a dance with a parent (usually of the opposite gender), then there were speeches. I had a brief moment of panic that I would have to give a speech, but then assured myself that Felicia would have told me. But after my info-gathering spree, I had a sudden moment of comprehension; this ‘wedding’ wasn’t just a binding ceremony. It was a party.
And then everything made sense.
One of the well-known facts, a cliché at this point, was that humans took any excuse to have a party. Birthdays, anniversaries, new job, new home, new offspring, graduations, the list went on and on. And this was one of the biggest moments of their life, so of course it would require the grandest of all parties!
When the months ticked by, life continuing as normal, and I eventually reached the point where the wedding was in just a few weeks, it took me by surprise. Felicia had been dropping random tidbits about the planning process into conversations for so long that it felt it would never arrive. Of course, every time she made the note, “And that will save us a lot of money,” I nodded enthusiastically.
They were having the ceremony in the sizeable backyard of a family friend and then the reception in their large barn. The backup plan for rain was to have everything in the barn, but scheduling it for a California spring was not much of a risk. Also, the wedding itself was to be more casual than typical, with an exceptionally tasty but common American food buffet, and much of the work to set everything up was being done by Felicia’s extensive family as well as the bride herself.
The human bridesmaids all bought various light-purple dresses, and I was given the color to find something that would match from a Reptilian store. I was quite happy with what I found, and Felicia said it looked awesome. She herself had bought what she described as a gorgeous sparkly dress that went through a gradient of light to dark purple from the top to the bottom. (I say ‘described’ because she refused to show me.) I’d read all sorts of facts about white dresses, but I knew my friend was far from the type pressured by tradition. And these days, humans essentially took the guidelines of a standard wedding and made whatever changes they wished.
When I arrived at the location, I brought my clothes and shoes inside and was welcomed with a warm hug from the owner of the huge house. There was a special decorative cage on a table for gifts, and I dropped in the card (with cash inside, of course) that I’d brought with me. She directed me upstairs to the room where Felicia and the other bridesmaids had already arrived. There were two videographers in the house, I learned, and one was with us while the other was with Darrell.
Felicia bounced up from her chair, where she’d been having her makeup put on (her pixie haircut was already perfect), and rushed over to give me a hug. “I’m getting married!”
“You’ve said that every time someone comes in!” exclaimed a young woman I recognized as her sister, Briana. “We know. That’s why we’re here. Now sit your butt back down, I’m not done!”
I couldn’t consume alcohol, but all the others did so, with one of the other bridesmaids, Vicki, pouring drinks called ‘mimosas’. I could, however, drink orange juice, and did so in order to participate when they toasted to a happy marriage.
“You want one?” Vicki asked with a smile, holding up the bottle in the direction of the videographer.
“Want and should, two different things,” the woman replied.
We each got into our dresses and then apparently our job was to stand and wait in a line with our eyes closed when Felicia came out of the bathroom in her dress. And I have to say, that is a wonderful tradition. Her sister jumped in the air and squealed, and the others gasped. She looked like a princess, and we told her so.
“Here you go,” said Briana, handing over what I knew was ‘the bouquet’.
“Oh my god, this thing is heavy,” Felicia said in surprise, holding it and giving it a deep sniff.
“You’ll want to hold it lower, like at your waist,” said Vicki, pointing.
“No, not exactly,” spoke up Heidi. “Your belly button-”
“It should be comfortable to hold though.”
“Just show me!” Felicia exclaimed. “I don’t know what I’m doing! This is my first time getting married!”
My outfit was easiest to kneel down in, so I helped Felicia put on her shoes. The videographer moved around me for a better angle, and I pulled back. “Oh, sorry.”
“No, you’re good, you’re supposed to be in this!” she assured me with a grin.
Then someone texted both of Felicia’s mothers and they came into the room to look at her in her dress, like we had. “Oh my god,” Jasmine breathed. Paula was speechless, her hands on her cheeks. “Sweetheart…”
“Don’t look at me like that,” Felicia whimpered as I saw Paula blink back tears. “Bri just did my makeup! Say something mean.”
“You look…hideous.” The humor broke the tension and laughter managed to keep the tears at bay. I still have no idea how human females keep their makeup unspoiled at weddings when their species cries from intense emotion. The males had it much easier. I was told they had it much easier in terms of preparation as well, apparently.
The woman who owned the house, Amber, had taken charge of organizing everything. She was invaluable, starting the music over the stereo, telling everyone to exit out the back door in the proper order. As soon as things had started in earnest, I’d felt completely out of place. It didn’t help that I was about a foot taller than all the other guests. And, you know, green. But according to Felicia, I looked fantastic in purple.
Paula and Jasmine both walked Felicia down the aisle and I’m sure I would have cried if I was physically able when I saw Darrell’s reaction at the sight of her. I knew males were less emotional than females, but he had tears streaming down his face. I watched, admittedly in mild fascination, as I saw Felicia ‘handed off’ to him at the altar and the mothers took their seats. There were perhaps a hundred people there, quite a crowd.
The officiant was one of Felicia’s cousins, Nancy, assigned to the job since apparently she had done this before. I know this was my first wedding, but I think all humans should have it done by someone they know. She was casual, comfortable, and unexpectedly funny.
“Good afternoon to all the guests here today. Felicia and Darrell request that you put away your cell phones for the duration of the ceremony. But first, you may take one…last…picture.” At that, I smothered a chuckle as half the guests immediately took out their communicators and took photos. Once they were done, she spoke up again. “And that is it. Just so you know, if your communicator goes off during the ceremony, that means you're making a donation to their honeymoon.”
I’d read about the honeymoon. That was a good threat.
The words of welcome, the discussion of marriage, the personal touch when she discussed the bride and groom, everything was just as I’d read online. It was wonderful, and somehow quaint. I’d worried there would be something I’d missed in my research, but in the end this was simply two people being bound together in love. Nothing ostentatious, nothing convoluted.
“Now after these words and vows that Felicia and Darrell say to each other,” Nancy said, “they will share a name, a home, a life together, and all electronic passwords.” My mouth parted in a smile as I heard giggles from the audience.
They had written their own vows and, my goodness, that was brilliant. I had never attended a wedding for another species before, but Reptilians didn’t have that. It was always a standard recitation of traditional, time-honored promises. Well, we didn’t have personal vows yet. If I ever bound myself to someone, my ceremony sure would!
Then the ring exchange, which resulted in a slight difficulty, getting Darrell’s ring on. It was, perhaps, a few millimeters too small. “That’s okay, it’s just never coming off,” Darrell said with a wave of his hand.
Then I sensed a shift in the atmosphere, and I stood a little straighter, looking from the other guests back to the couple. “Felicia and Darrell, you have expressed your love to one another through the commitment and promises you have just made. It is with these in mind that I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”
The crowd erupted in applause and I joined in. And then everyone proceeded back down the aisle, chatting away as transitioned to the reception.
Firstly, there was someone there in charge of the music, a DJ or MC, some combination of letters that felt interchangeable, named Pedro. Everyone in the ‘bridal party’ was introduced by name as we walked into the reception area to special songs and applause, and everyone stood to give a round of especially loud applause as the married couple swept in and onto the dance floor. They shared their first dance, Darrell shared a dance with his mother, and Felicia split a song between Jasmine and Paula.
Then it was time for food! Felicia had said ‘American’ and she hadn’t been kidding. There were hotdogs and hamburgers, corn on the cob, ribs, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, a salad bar, and a spread of crackers and cheeses. I ate so much, especially the meats, that I knew the toasts must always be scheduled after the meal on purpose. It gave everyone a chance to digest!
On that note, the toasts were delightful. I knew after that, perhaps even more than getting the ceremony itself, why Felicia had mentioned the importance to her of getting the occasion on video.
“…There was this one time when, on the run up to kindergarten,” Paula said, “Felicia had this flyer for the school and kept staring at it and I said, “What's wrong?” and she goes, “I can't read this! They're never going to let me into kindergarten!”
“It's an honor to be here. To be anywhere, really, at this age...” her grandfather had begun.
“...Number eight. They say never go to bed angry, but they never said don't go to bed while plotting revenge,” Briana told her sister, who hadn’t stopped laughing since she’d started her list of ‘advice’. “Number nine. Therapy is cheaper than bail...”
“…So, we decided to burn the Christmas tree outside, and for anyone who’s never done that, you get like a 35-foot flame,” the best man said, prompting my membranes to flick rapidly across my eyes. “And the fire department shows up and I’m like, “Darrell, do you have hotdogs? Go get hotdogs, put some on a stick! As long as you’re cooking something, it’s legal!”
If I hadn’t been sure I was at a human wedding before, I sure was by that point.
“…Should I tell the story of when my brother and I threw a party, and then he threw out the trash over the fence into the woods behind our yard?” asked Darrell’s brother Kyle. “A storm came that night and blew it all over our backyard. Or maybe the one where he called home after a snowboarding accident and went, ‘I’m fine mom, I just have a concussion and need to stay in a dark room for a few days.’ We asked where he was. He replied, ‘Driving home.’ And we found out he didn't know what month it was, much less how to actually get home.”
I later asked Felicia about this story. She replied breezily that, yes, she had married this man, and now it was her job to keep him alive.
The cutting of the cake wasn’t particularly extravagant, but I wasn’t sure how you were supposed to make something like that momentous. Well, it turned out the feeding was the momentous part.
“All right now on the count of three the bride and groom are going to feed each other some cake,” Pedro spoke into the microphone, “so shout, cheer, throw small children into the air, they're pliable. One, two, three!”
The piece of cake that had been cut, and taken by each of them in hand, was smushed in what I could only describe as the vague direction of the others mouth. And everyone laughed and cheered.
“How’s it taste?” called Vicki.
“Tastes great!” Felicia replied, wiping it off her cheeks and into her mouth. She rubbed at her nose. “Smells really good too!”
When those who were single lined up for the bouquet toss, I was concerned I was in over my head. “Ladies, safety is paramount during this bouquet toss, of course,” Pedro called out to us. “So, shoving, kneeing, biting, kicking...they're all crowd favorites, so go for it.”
“One!” Felicia shouted. “Two! Three!” And the bouquet was tossed over her shoulder into the air.
Luckily, I escaped uninjured. The DJ had exaggerated, as humans tend to do, and Vicki caught the bouquet, which she seemed exceptionally pleased with.
By that time, the food had settled in our stomachs, which was good since apparently the party necessitated several hours of dancing next. I was in luck, because despite also being bipedal, I have no idea how to dance, but there are many human songs that have moves everyone does together. Some of them even have directions built into the lyrics!
The first one that came on gave me even more confidence, because as I looked around to copy everyone, after about five seconds Pedro stopped the song and went, “Hang on, hang on, hang on, what was that?” Everyone fell apart laughing as he reset the song and came out onto the dance floor. “All right, I am earning my paycheck tonight. If there is anyone who actually does know how to do the electric slide, you’re up here with me.”
Also, it turned out swaying back and forth to the beat counts as dancing if everyone else around you knows what they’re doing, so I participated quite a bit. My feet ached by the end of the night, even having skipped many of the songs.
As people started to give the bride and groom a hug goodbye and head to their cars, I realized the night was coming to its conclusion. I’d never experienced anything like this before and it had been wondrous. Walking over to Felicia, I gave her a big hug and then held her back at arm’s length. “I have no idea what to say,” I told her tiredly. “GalNet did not properly prepare me. Thank you so much for inviting me to your wedding.”
“You are very welcome,” Felicia said with a warm smile. “It was awesome to have you here and an honor to be the one to pop your Earth wedding cherry.”
I cocked my head. “There were cherries? In the cake?”
Felicia’s face did something funny before she shook her head and chuckled. “You’re the best, Frapill. I’ll call you when we get back from our honeymoon. We’ll go get pizza, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Need a large-ish slicey and light knife? Love crossbar locks? Here's one for you.
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I found nude video recordings on my boyfriend's phone of different girls. Videos that were taken in this same house. The girls knew they were being video tapped.
I didn't know he was capable of this much. He always said he only enjoyed sex when he had a connection with someone. I believed him. I thought we had a connection. Until I saw texts where he was arranging for 3 some with escorts. He is the sweetest most caring person I have ever been with. Well ,now I know that that was just a façade. Proof that you can live with someone and never know the extent of their atrocities. I think he probably video tapped me as well when we were together probably without my consent. I'm so disgusted. I have been thinking of ways to get back to him for preying on me and pretending to be this nice person that he isn't. I have found no options and it's killing me. Finding options on How to get back at him in a way that will teach him a lesson not harm him is so hard.

I'm Nigerian American (not raised in Islam, I hope that's ok) and I was wondering how Nigerian Ex-Muslims are fairing (or if any exists)
I came across the story of Deborah Samuel Yakubu and was wondering if this was talked about at all in your social spheres? Are there are any updates about the trial? I wasn't able to find much more information online. Below is the excerpt from her wiki page

Deborah Samuel Yakubu, a Christian, was accused of posting a blasphemous statement against the Islamic prophet Muhammad. She allegedly made a comment on WhatsApp, criticizing the religion-related posts that Muslim classmates discussed in the study group she believed should have been reserved for academic purposes.[6][7]
On 12 May 2022, Yakubu was forcibly taken from the security room she was hidden in at the Shehu Shagari College of Education in Sokoto. A cab had been waiting outside the school to escort her to safety at the police station.[8] Within the college premises, a Muslim student mob stoned Yakubu,[9][10] before dumping tires on her and burning her body beyond recognition.[8][11] According to witnesses, security forces fired tear gas and warning shots but failed to disperse the mob.[10] A student who had witnessed the lynching recounted that Yakubu's last words were "What do you hope to achieve with this?", and that Christian students fled the premises during the lynching.[7] A video of the murder circulated on social media.[12]

It's just so sad that people are still killing others over religion. It makes me fear for my family over there.

So I recently did a post noting the difficulties of being trans in society today, along with expressing solidarity, and there was a comment asking if I can give some tips on how cis men can introduce their gfs/people they are dating who are trans to friends/family in order to shed the “stigma” about it. I wanted to expand on this into hetero dating as a whole, and for those cis men who are seeking to date trans women while shedding the “stigma” that men may face for doing so. I posted this guide on MtF with some positive reviews and now I am hoping to get more additional feedback here! Special thanks to u/SparkleK_01.
Now, I want to apologize in advance. I may not get everything right here, and I’ll be more than happy to update any ignorant statements I make here and/or update information I may have missed. I may use rhetoric that cis people may grasp a bit more, but some of that language may be backward, for some, to say the least. I’ll do my best to portray these points; again, my apologies in advance. It is an incredible portrayal of the times to possibly use such backward rhetoric to explain modern dating/sexuality, and I really wish we could move past this where trans women and cis women are not something to be noted so differently from one another. I do hope that this guide is one day an outdated piece of advice to a certain degree, and where all cis men treat all women equally as potential dating partners. In fact, I know the word “stigma” is such a misnomer, since it’s society’s ignorance that makes it so in the first place. The fact of the matter is, there is no stigma. Your confidence and knowledge are much more important to provide comfort and combat “shame” than obtaining society’s approval (we will dive into this later).
Also, to note, even though I do practice poly/ENM, I will just be focusing on the monogamous aspects of dating. Additionally, most of these will just be applicable to trans women; not non-binary dating or trans men. I will be speaking to those “cis guys” reading this, but some may apply to everyone. Again, apologies in advance if I do anything offensive, inconsistent, or misguided here.
If you want a fantastic guide outside of this, I suggest reading this for more info: https://www.transfemme.com.au/information-for-men-who-date-trans-women/
**And to all the chasers thinking they can use this guide to hide their true intentions, you can fuck right off you POS. These tips won’t even apply to you and you will get found out sooner or later. If you cannot overcome your own insecurities to be with a trans woman, then you do not deserve them or anyone else. You are not worthy of such love.*\*
On that note:
**Dating vs. Chasing: Know the Difference*\*
The most important thing is to understand if you want to date a trans woman or if you are “chasing.” “Chasing” or being a “chaser” is [cisgender men who are solely sexually interested in trans women]( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attraction_to_transgender_people). But it is much deeper and more disruptive than one realizes. Chasers see trans women as only sexual beings to either experiment, hook up, or play with for their own pleasure. Chasers simply fetishize trans women, either hyper-focusing on their genitalia, physical body, or essence (their entire beings as a trans woman) for their own pleasure in the bedroom. The idea of being in public with a trans woman, public display of affection, having intimate/romantic moments, showing affection, introducing them to family/friends, or other humanistic aspects are either ignored, deprioritized, or repulsed by a chaser, mostly because of fear or insecurity for their own sexuality, despite wanting to experiment in the bedroom. Some also hyper-focus on passibility, or the feminine attractiveness of a trans woman, where society may not question whether they are trans, since their looks already “pass” as cis women. There are also racist components thrown into this as well to suit their fetish but only take advantage of those who already have a more difficult time in society beyond those who are the majority.
Chasers are not welcomed in the trans community, as it is recognized as an anti-trans misogynistic bigoted tendency. By not recognizing trans women are more than sexual beings, you are denying their humanity. This is akin to most supremacy mentalities that are detrimental to an individual’s psyche. Trans women are not second-class citizens for sexual pleasure or exploration. This objectification and fetishization is unacceptable. Trans women are people worthy of love, relationships, and bonding like everyone else. Chasers are upholders of this phony societal stigma that hurts both trans women and men. As one blog puts it:

The shame that society attaches to these [cis] men, specifically attacking their sexuality and shaming their attraction, directly affects trans women. It affects the way we look at ourselves. It amplifies our body-image issues, our self-esteem, our sense of possibility, of daring for greatness, of aiming for something or somewhere greater. If a young trans woman believes that the only way she can share intimate space with a man is through secret hookups, bootycalls or transaction, she will be led to engage in risky sexual behaviors that make her more vulnerable to criminalization, disease and violence; she will be led to coddle a man who takes out his frustrations about his sexuality on her with his fists; she will be led to question whether she’s worthy enough to protect herself with a condom when a man tells her he loves her; she will be led to believe that she is not worthy of being seen, that being seen heightens her risk of violence, therefore, she must hide who she is at all costs in order to survive.

https://janetmock.com/2013/09/12/men-who-date-attracted-to-trans-women-stigma/.
There are some chasers that focus on race as well. DON’T BE THAT GUY. Asian, Black, and Latin trans women are not a fetish on a fetish to be taken advantage of. As one puts it:

“I’ve had men message me saying, ‘I like Asian trans women.’ For me it’s a red flag and a huge turn off. It demonstrates that he’s fetishizing all South/East Asian women without understanding all the assumptions and stereotypes he’s making. I feel reduced to my skin tones and features, as if everything I have fought and built for myself means nothing.”

https://www.transfemme.com.au/information-for-men-who-date-trans-women/
As a sidenote, be aware that porn/sex scenes are not real life. A hyper-fixation on making porn a reality for you is only going to make things worse for everyone involved, including yourself. Even using language like “s*ssy,” fixating on what they are wearing, discussing surgeries unprompted, etc., all are indicators that you may be trying to fulfill a sexual fantasy through your partner rather than putting the welfare of a person you want to care about first.
Dating is the intention to build a bond with a person. If you are attracted to a trans woman beyond sex, you see them as a potential partner you can care for; bond over interests, care about family/friends, see building a relationship over the long term, etc. You don’t question their womanhood because of their genitalia and have no problem introducing them to the public (including friends and family).

How you identify is up to you and can also change over time. What’s important is that you are comfortable with yourself and that you treat your partners with respect.

Id.
**Understanding your own sexuality: you are not gay/bi for being attracted to a trans woman*\*
Sexual orientation (who you are attracted to) is completely unrelated to gender identity (who you are). You are cis… meaning you feel comfortable with the sex you were assigned to at birth (male). You also consider yourself “straight,” meaning you are attracted to the opposite sex, women. Dating a trans woman does not change that whatsoever. Trans women are women. There is something bigoted about this perspective as well: that there is still a stigma of being bi/gay, despite this being entirely displaced. But that’s another story…
We have to understand that gender roles (masculinity, femininity, non-binary, etc.) are social constructs, meaning society attempts to dictate the expectations of how one may behave according to their “role” (sex/gender in this instance). But, here’s the thing: there are no “roles.” “Roles” are up to us as individuals to accept despite the expectations that society demands. We have to understand as well that our society was and is still patriarchal, meaning that power structures (from culture to politics to economy) are heavily influenced by male-dominated bodies. Patriarchal institutions (along with being white, elitist, etc.) perpetuate toxic viewpoints on how men, in general, should behave, particularly with their sexuality. Patriarchy is inherently unjust because its abrasive expectations of people that do not allow the freedom to be oneself and excel in society. This expectation of your attraction and sexuality should be broken. Society does not define sexuality and who you may be attracted to. You do.
Now, granted, society still has a heavy influence on femininity and masculinity definitions, and trans people shape their own personas to this reality. Some people are more comfortable with being “masculine” or “feminine” according to more traditional expectations (due to culture, upbringing, background, etc.). And that is okay too. Sexuality is fluid, and it is up to an individual to define it. When it comes to defining “being straight”, dating a trans woman does not challenge these constructs either.Straightness is riddled with these toxic expectations from a patriarchal society that is incredibly inconsistent with and ignorant of attraction and sexuality. I see heterosexual couples enjoy pegging, where a woman uses a strap-on to penetrate their male partner, and they still considers themselves straight (our anatomy has a little thing called the prostate that is extremely pleasurable when played with). I know guys that are vers or submissive with their gfs who are trans, but still consider themselves straight, and that is okay! As cis men, we have the privilege to be in a better position to free ourselves from these expectations. For myself, I define my straightness as being attracted to societal femininity; I date women. I have my own attraction for beauty, intelligence, etc. I am not attracted to societal masculinity. I am poly, practice ENM, and have an amazing girlfriend who is trans. She does not top me, and that is fine. This is in no way a “template” for cis men; it’s just to show the fluidity and application of these definitions.
HOWEVER, this isn’t to say that anything/everything you do can be considered “straight,” either. I remember there was this show where men were in denial about being gay because of their Mormonism (“I am married. Thus I can’t be gay!) sort of thing. Apologies for using Gus here, but it’s the only video I found that illustrates this best. Another thing is that there is a difference between being attracted to trans women and femboys/crossdressers/etc. I do not want to muddy the waters too much here, but I would study more on sexuality to determine your own sexual identity freely and without shame.
Sticking to the subject here; dating trans women is not a challenge to your “straightness.” Trans women are women. Genitals do not define your sexuality. Social constructs do not define your sexuality. You do.
***Finding A Partner: Just Go About Your Business!*\*
Just date normally as if you were attempting to find a partner. Find a bond you want to have with someone with similar interests and attraction. If you feel like you have to go to a trans-dedicate website (or worse, search on Grindr) for a trans partner, then that’s a major red flag. One does not necessarily go out of their way to look for a trans woman partner. Let me explain this through an example:
\Cis guy #1 (CG1) wants to look for a trans woman partner specifically, so he goes to trans women hangouts by himself (late at night), downloads dating apps geared towards trans women, and does whatever it takes to find a trans woman partner. He interacts with profiles based on physical attraction and not on interests. CG1 uses buzzwords, uses different strategies for finding a trans woman partner from cis women, and is more concerned with sexual aspects than other deeper things. They may go out for dinner, but over time, the routine just be booty call after booty call, late-night rendezvous, shallow talks, avoiding people, etc. In the end, no real bond is built, and he is able to move on to another trans woman after another.**
What should we call CG1? If you guessed chaser, you are correct.
Cis Guy #2 (CG2) uses Bumble/tinder to find his dates. But there appears to be this very cute barista at Starbucks that he visits almost every day. He learns that she is single, but he also hears about her talking about HRT, dysphoria, etc. That doesn’t phase him, and he wants to ask her out for a coffee/dinner. He exchanges numbers with her and learns that she’s really interested that she’s into D&D, films, and politics. She mentions to him before their date that she is trans. No problem! CG2 studies up a bit about dating a trans woman but, overall, doesn’t allow her identity to dictate how he interacts with her. He dates women, so it's not a big deal! They go out together for a nice dinner, take an archery lesson for the hell of it, and you attend one of her D&D tournaments. Sex is great and they experiment a lot, but it’s not the main focus of the relationship. He introduced her to his friends and family enthusiastically like any other partner.\*
See the difference? In all honesty, just date normally. You may run across a trans woman on dating apps or other places, but you don’t make it a focus for dating people overall (it gives chase-y vibes). However you may meet a trans woman partner; just treat her like you would with any other partner.

“I personally don’t care so much if men are specifically attracted to trans women. I’m more looking at their behaviors. Are they seeing me as an object and as a fetish or are they actually wanting to get to know me? Because if you do want to get to know me and hang out with me for more than just sex, then I may be interested. But if you’re demanding me to act and dress in a particular way and you’re not treating me like a human being, then I’ll walk away.”

**A note about “surprise” hookups*\*
Let’s say you are at a bar, and you are striking up a great conversation with a woman. She’s very attractive to you; you both are getting to know each other and decide to go to her apartment. You both start making out with each other and start to feel around when, all of a sudden, you feel… something you were not expecting.
That’s fine! Your attraction and the time you had with her does not change simply because of that! Smile! Continue doing what you are doing and make sure she is comfortable. Make sure you are conveying you are comfortable to her as well so she is comfortable as well.If she asks, “Is that okay?” or something along those lines, respond enthusiastically and positively. If it’s your first time, feel free to let her know, and feel free to take things at your own pace (and apply the same to her!). Like any other hookup, act as you would with any other partner. As a cis guy, I really do not believe that should change anything. Your attraction and time with her are not invalid because she is trans. If you are still uncertain about things yourself do not force yourself to do something you are uncomfortable with. But know that it’s not her fault.
Do not feel like you are owed an apology or that she should have disclosed it to you before. You are not entitled to anything, including sex. You and your health are not endangered. She has every right to experience a normal sex life without an obligation to disclose anything about herself that will not harm you. It is up to her to disclose whatever she feels like.
This is not an excuse to be aggressive, rude, and ESPECIALLY violent. If you start to freak out and question your entire sexuality because of this, you have a long way to go and that is on YOU. As discussed before, trans women are women, and you are still straight if you hook up with her. You are a POS if you do anything violent towards a trans woman and deserve swift justice.
NOTE: I did not want to overstep my boundaries by not mentioning the dangers trans women put themselves in these situations and providing advice to them. Since this is directed more toward cis men, I figured that I should address their attitudes more. But as u/ManicPixieDreamAsh noted:

I'd like to remind my trans sisters that it is NOT SAFE to hook up with a man without disclosing first. While it would be lovely if everyone was as cool as this guide says to be, that's how we die. Should we have to? No. But we do have to, to be safe

**First Date Advice*\*
There are lots of dos and don'ts when it comes to first dates in general, let alone with a trans woman. So these tips will be more focused on that:

• Don’t be surprised if your date is a bit skeptical of you. Trans women are inundated with creepy interactions from cis men: from manipulative intentions to outright disgusting sexual requests. She may receive this on the DAILY for simply having an Instagram. Work up to her; build trust; bond deeply on topics and interests; care for her. She will shed this skepticism when she is ready.
• Don’t rush things. Be patient and relax. Like anyone else, she is a human being with her own character, trauma, and identity. Understand that. Ask her if she is feeling okay and check in with her. This may be appreciated and go a long way.
• Don’t hyper-fixate on her identity for topics of conversation. “How is it being trans? What is it like? Are you going to do x surgery? Have you ever dated a guy before? Do you date other trans?” These topics are not important, need-to-know first date topics. Would you ever ask a cis woman these questions? If not, apply here! Let trans women take the lead in discussions about what they want to disclose about their lives.
• Don’t let her transness define the date or relationship either. Take them as the individuals they are; do not define them as their transness. Treat them as a woman, potential partner, and human being.
• Don’t expect to be educated. The time and energy that this causes, with an expectation of them being experts in their own transness, is foolish. Do a bit of your own homework, and don’t hyper-fixate on it.
• Don’t be surprised if she reveals a lot about herself either. Be compassionate and understanding; empathize with her ordeals and traumas. It’s hard to build bridges with people in general. If she struggles with conversations, help her out. Obviously, if there are topics that are making you uncomfortable, say something, but understand that it’s okay to open up a bit during these times too.
• Don’t be shy about meeting in public and don’t care about what other people think. Trans women who are interested in dating men should be shown the same respect around having public relationships as any other woman should be. Healthy relationships flourish when there is openness, pride and transparency. Don’t let anyone tell you who you can and can’t be with.
• Don’t be grossed out by things that may happen in the bedroom. First dates may end up in the bedroom, expectedly or unexpectedly. Either way, it’s a privilege to even be intimate with someone like this, so behave appropriately. Make sure consent is given (or has the ability to be given), clean yourself up if you have to, allow her time to get herself ready, and if things get messy, just get some paper towels, baby wipes, shower, etc. We all have beautiful human bodies that function however which way; no one should be ashamed of that!
• Don’t act like someone else. If you are trying to act too macho and different from what you portrayed yourself as before, she will take notice. If you are trying to make up for something just because you are going on a date with a trans woman, then that’s an unwelcomed insecurity that is not going to take the date far (and possibly cut it short).
• Most importantly, Be yourself, be comfortable, and have fun!

**Building a Relationship*\*
Congratulations! You had a fantastic first date, and you are hanging out with her more and more! You may have even popped the question of asking her to be your girlfriend, to which she said yes! Build a healthy relationship like you would anyone else. I really liked how this article frames it:

A healthy relationship is built on many things including love, trust, compassion, respect and honesty. Being open and honest about how you’re feeling and the challenges you might be experiencing is integral to a lasting relationship. It is also important to do some self-reflection and be able to grow. Be prepared to look at the parts of yourself that you might be uncomfortable with, where you might need to grow or address inequities. Supporting your partner to be themselves despite any challenges can be very rewarding.

Be there for your partner. Support her transition and therapies, and be a shoulder to lean on. Understand her struggles and be her rock.
\A quick note for partners who do sex work. Please support them. You do not have to participate or do anything affiliated with their work, but your support goes a hell of a long way. She can be harassed, bullied, and exhausted from such work, and she understands her intentions for doing it. If it is for the money, lack of job opportunities, or other circumstantial situations, she really needs to be seen as a human being from her loved ones. Even if she is doing it for fun and her enjoyment, know that it can be exhausting at times. Be proud that you have a resilient and sexual partner! There is no shame in doing so.*
***Introducing Friends/Family*\*
When it comes to introductions, these can be very unique situations that each trans woman may have different comfort levels. Some want to be very proud that they are trans and are in a relationship with you. Others may not want to reveal who they are (some are “stealth” and do not want to inform anyone that they are trans). Some may want a mix of the two. The most important thing is to think about your partner first. Talk and communicate with her FIRST on how she may want to be introduced to situations, people, and loved ones. Don’t put her identity over her well-being. Remember, she has the right to her privacy, and how she discloses it to others is up to her, not you.
Because of this, I separate these interactions into three categories: (1) casual events, (2) hangouts, and (3) meeting loved ones.
For casual events, like business parties, bumping into someone at the bar, clubbing, etc. don’t introduce her as your trans gf. It’s incredibly inappropriate to label her like this right off the bat. Instead, just introduce her as your gf/partner. “Bob, this is Susan, my partnegf.” Now, its important to have a conversation with her on how if anyone approaches her, and asks if she is trans. If she is okay with revealing that, enthusiastically respond with a yes. If she is not okay with revealing that, tell the person that you are not comfortable informing them about such a personal question and try to quickly change the subject (“oh but do you want to know how we met?”), or move away. Obviously, this may be different if you all are in a queer space, but that will also be up to her to differentiate. Social gracefulness goes a long way in these situations. However, if she is visibly uncomfortable, get her out of there. Speak with her. Have a procedure in place where a sign or word can indicate that she wants to get out and escort her. You all are a team and support one another.
For hangouts with friends, expectations are very similar. There is no need to dive into her identity whatsoever. If people ask, respond appropriately according to your partner’s expectations. If anyone gives you any trouble, put them in their place, and/or leave if it gets too much. Friends are those that accept you for who you are. Hang out with those who do that; not those who shun you and your partners.
For loved ones (close friends and family), this is extremely important but can be tricky. For many people, intros to loved ones can be a time when relationships may deepen, and there may be opportunities to celebrate your relationship with others. For some trans women, being introduced to their partner's family may be considered a sign of respect. When it comes to these interactions ALWAYS BE PREPARED. These are personal relationships that are incredibly important to one’s life, and these people care or have an expectation for their loved ones as well.There are three aspects to prepare for these kinds of encounters:

1. Know whether or not you are going to disclose her identity.
2. Know your audience’s inclinations.
3. Know an emergency procedure if you and her need to get away.

Being “stealth” may be tricky here, because if anyone has an inkling that your partner may be trans, it may be an extremely awkward and intense conversation that one may not be ready to have. But always have a plan for it if she does not want to disclose anything to anyone. Be cool, casual, and confident. If their loved ones are more liberal, it may not be a big deal for them and move on. For those on the more conservative side, this is where some trouble may arise. It is important to discuss these inclinations of loved ones with your partner to make her more comfortable in opening up or explaining the reality of your situation to her. Either way, be careful if you do decide to choose not to disclose anything to loved ones.
There are some who do not wish to disclose things now but wish to later, and that is completely fine. Who knows where the relationship may go and/or if it may even be necessary. Hell, building a bond may be better before opening up to them more, and they may even accept her after experiencing more of her personality! Whatever works for your relationship.
For those who want to inform your loved ones that you are dating a trans woman, communicate with everyone first. Be creative as well! Writing a letter or message may be the best way to get everything across without interruption or physical fear. I am not an advocate for the “big reveal” sort of introduction, where everyone is gathered to meet your new gf, and you not only introduce her for the first time, but you drop the bomb that she is also trans. No one is prepared for that; expectations and chaos may ensue; and again, not that entirely socially graceful.I would try to meet or call with them beforehand. Meeting/Calling them a few days beforehand is ideal. I wrote this as my template for speaking with my mom and dad about it (who are pretty liberal):

Mom/Dad, I want to introduce you to my girlfriend next week. She is an amazing and important partner in my life, and it means a lot for me to introduce you to her. We both want to tell you all before our meeting that she is a trans woman. I am attracted to her, dating her, and possibly want to have a deeper future with her. I am hoping you all will accept her into our family life with the same love and respect that you would with any other partner.

(TW) From here, it is important to answer any questions, comments, or concerns they may have as respectfully and maturely as possible. However, these questions may be overtly offensive and ignorant: “Wait son, are you gay? Does that mean she has a penis or use to be a man? Why did you decide to date someone like that?” Remember, you do not have to tolerate such rhetoric, as innocent as they may be. However, this may be taken as an opportunity to educate them about yourself, sexuality, and transness. Do so calmly. If they become more upset, angry, disappointed, or aggressive/offensive, then do the following:

Mom/dad, I love you, but you are taking this way out of line. I am who I am, and so is she. Whether or not I date her or even love her, I want you to accept me. If you are unable to, I think we may need some time apart. If you continue to deny who I am and my partner, then we may not be able to continue our family relationship.

Even if they are accepting of your relationship, it is still important to have an emergency plan in case something happens: ask a friend to be on standby if you need a ride or place to stay with your partner; develop keywords or gestures to indicate something (scratch your elbow= “hey we need to talk on the side”; pop your lips= “we need to leave now”); have an excuse ready to go (we forgot to feed to dog/cat; friend emergency; etc.). If the ultimate horrific scenario happens, have a safe area where both of you can meet later outside the place where you were meeting your loved ones with a specific date/time.
However, there are lots of positives that come from this as well. Your friends and family can grow with you in this experience. *Talk to them about appropriate rhetoric, pronouns, topics, and language.* People can make mistakes too as I learned during Thanksgiving, but it's important to know when and how to correct this, while giving some time away to heal.Hopefully, this helps in planning an interaction with loved ones!
**Planning for the Long-Term*\*
Enjoying vacations together? Building a career, house, or business with them? Thinking about popping the big question? It’s an extraordinary journey to have a relationship with a trans woman, as I myself am experiencing right now. Whether it works our or doesn’t, be happy about sharing such a unique experience with someone that makes you all the happier and more fulfilled.
This will be updated accordingly if anyone has any more tips, corrections, or revisions.
I really hope this helps everyone out with this!